stomach


music: jack johnson - rodeo clowns
volume:13


i've had this disgusting feeling in my body all day now...fuckin' job hunting. i finally got down to doing all the maintenance type stuff on my life that i've been meaning to do for a while. cleared up a credit card problem, workin' on a medical insurance problem from a fuckin' year ago, got my schedule organized which helped me get me resume almost-up-to-date, and started the job hunting routine.

and by the time i was done with all that i felt so drained and depressed i just kinda sat around. i called my parents, that was nice to talk to them. haven't called in a while :( i'm a bad son. either way, things back home are lookin' pretty good. christmas is lining up, my brother and sister wwill be there for christmas....and my dog misses everyone :) buuuuut after i hung up, my stomach felt like it was about 200 pounds again...or however you wanna imagine that 'dead weight' feeling. i dunno. i guess just thinking that intensely on my future after not spending ANY time doing it was a bit too much. the dice are in motion, though. just gotta give it a little more time and effort to see what rolls up to my doorstep. or...suitestep. wait. i have a door. *shakes head*

that paragraph to the left there is burning in flames at the moment. in two days i've gotten TWO expressions of distaste for my blog. for two entirely different reasons...interesting. kind of a bummer, but less of a bummer than having those thoughts unheard. again, and i can't express this enough, if something's bothering you about what i write, i'll stop. just let me know.

i'm in a foul mood. hoping to drink it off tonight.



bird.