silence

muck


yeah, haven't blogged in a while...almost a week. lots on my mind lately...mainly one thing. one of those times i'm questioning my entire life before now in an attempt to make some sense of...well...now. my parents have been growing apart since their kids started leaving the house...and when i, their last kid, left the house, i actually thought it was alright. four years ago...or close to. turns out everyone was just biting their tongue 'till they couldn't bite it anymore. ritual of chüd? (know the reference?)

of course this solidifies a lot of my quelms about relationships...also throws them into chaos. what can i expect? who knows. my parents met in college...my mom followed my dad to grad school...my sister was born in oregon and they moved back home a few years later. part of me wants to say fuck it and have some fun, 'nother says to rethink my goals/tactics/(standards?)...but most of me wants to sit back and just bob in the waves, see what falls in my lap.

and the rest of me drinks a lot *shrugs*.

i need more stimulation.......


*silence*