and at 12:36am it is now valentines day, for the 21st time in MY lifetime. sadly only once have i done anything for this twisted holiday that wasn't a homework assignment in elementary school. the only time i've ever done anything was give my (then) girlfriend a few roses. couldn't really plan anything for her since her friend came into town....oh well. never meant much to me anyway (valentines that is). so, on the one day cupid is supposedly getting everyone laid, "da' boys" are going to watch daredevil. a ploy to ditch ze beaches? perhaps. either way, i'm game. i get no love *sob*

HAH *flicks tear in your face* like it really bothers me. *grabs kleenex*

maybe this is where this feeling has been coming from? hmm...interesting. i was kind of psyched to have a dream blob...but lately i've been sleeping too funky to remember my dreams. i wake up in the middle of them with a phone call or mis-set alarm clock and get really confused. my brother read a book once on 'lucid dreaming' (a point people can reach where you can control your dreams) and the first step is to rain yourself to remember, and be aware of your dreams. it teaches you to recognize dream and reality (a problem i've often had, much to my surprise and embarrasment when it happens...like "hey, didn't i......no, i never hook up with anyone..."). when you can recognize it in reality, you can start recognizing it in the subconscious, and when you realize you are indeed dreaming when you are dreaming, you can begin to make decisions in your subconscious world you've created for yourself. perhaps my dreams are only my interest, but i was always amused by other peoples' dreams. thoughts? i've also kind of half-vowed to myself to not leave out those details i'd rather not let people know...see how honest i can really be : )

or i'll just end up severely embarrasing myself. *shrugs* i suppose either way i'll learn something (it's a challenge).

why am i posting this?

i'll try and be more intersting next time. toodles


jawbreaker