yaaaawn

ehh, ended up deciding to stay home. my friends were going out to get drunk at bars and such and i'm just not really in the mood to fight with my fake. i mean...this piece of shit has only failed me like...twice and once was 'cause my friends' was even worse. it hasn't failed me yet here...but still....everytime i use it i feel like a little piece of me dies *sob*. nah, not really, icould care less but i do get a bit of anxiety whenever i hand it over. again, i'm wondering if turning twenty one will actually be all i've thought it will be. i'm really looking forward to being able to just go downtown and hit up some cooler lookin' bars and not have to worry about jailbait :) roamin' around hawaii beaches and shit i'm relearning how much i SUCK at guessing ages of girls....especially when they're all wearing bikini's :) i mean, even just af ew years ago you could kinda tell a girl's age by what she was wearing...but now....shit. they all dress like ho's. kinda weird to see like fifteen year old's decked out with makeup and high heels....for some reason i get a lotta little girls checkin' me out (quoth the sister today at ala moana)...weird. my dad tells me that my face and gait make me seem older than i am, but the simple fact that i'm a skinny, lanky, fragile lookin' dude i do look young sometimes. *shrugs*. i've at least decided that it's about time i start dressing a little better than a skater punk with no clean clothes :) despite how easy it is to dress like that, i suppose i should grow up someday and get some decent clothes. my sister approves. she always wants to dres me up so for christmas and birthdays and shit she likes dressing me up...i guess it's like the little sister she never had....heh. i've got cool clothes from both she and my brother....mostly 'cause i can't really afford them and absolutely hate shopping. maybe i should just shop like a woman once in a while and go buy a new shirt or something everytime i go out to somewhere new....then i'll start collecting some decent clothes.

that sounds like a good plan.

hey baby, wanna go shopping? i wonder if that'd work.

oh, another interesting pondering that came up with my sister. she says i should just make a business (pimp) card with my name and number on it and give it to hot girls. she was half joking...but kind of making fun of the fact that i just never talk to girls...or do more than stare at them really creepily. either way, pushed it after thinkin' for a sec...i mean...if i just gave a girl my number, then it's totally up to her whether or not to call me. i'd be taking eric's advice by keeping my mouth shut, and i'd at least be letting these girls know that i am, indeed, interested in them. if the entire world did this it could possibly make dating a lot easier. you always here that it's that "first step" that's always the hardest and once you get word out, good things can happen. well, for all those pussies like me who don't know how to talk to girls, or are afraid of being rejected, or afraid of awkward situations, hand out the card. that way, rejection is tacit, awkwardness is saved for the one's who actually are attracted to you, and lucky me...i mean...lucky mangina dude doesn't have to say a word to the babe.

voila!

i'll also steal drew's idea and put my blog address on it so i can thoroughly fuck myself over. 'cause i can't possibly allowed to succeed with women. i must cockblock myself to retain my dignity so i'll freak 'em out before they have a chance to call.....and THEN, only the really insane ones will call me! i like the insane ones...actually i just happen to get involved with the insane ones, i dunno if that's a good thing or not yet....

alright, i'll stop talking now, my arms are tired.

surf lesson #3 tomorrow, now beach, bigger and badder.

diamond head.