insomniac theater for the malnutritioned

this is why i never fuckin' sleep, all the coolest geek shows are on!

tonight...two entire fucking hours of BUGS. this show's called bugs or something like that where this crazy guy explores all these fucked up animals. and by "explore" i mean letting a scorpion sting him, putting his hand in a tupperware full of ARMY ANTS, pissing of a yellow jacket nest (with protection but still getting stung through his suit)...yeah. dude's crazy.

two craziest (number two and number one) in the "most aggressive" show...there's this wasp called i think the "japanese giant hornet" (is a hornet a wasp? no clue) that'll send scouts out to find honeybee nests. sprays pheramones all over the nest and goes back to HER nest to alert the cavalry and a buncha' these giant hornets (they're like..4 times the size of a honey bee...disgusting) will roll up into the honey bee nest and DECIMATE the ENTIRE NEST in half an hour. and funny it was half an hour, because the way they kill the honeybees is by CUTTING THEM IN HALF. like, seriously just chopping their heads off, boomp, boomp, boomp...and i just realized that 'decimate' is the wrong word to use (literally to exterminate by 1/10th) because they pretty much kill all the honeybees. and then they eat all the larvae.
BUT!

the weirdest part is that the hornet wasn't the insect that made the list...because the honeybees found a defense. weirdest fuckin' thing i've ever seen but they BAKE THE MUTHAFUCKA. honey hornet pie! what they do is they LET the scout into the nest and then they all start jumping on him and shakin' their junk (no i'm serious, they vibrate their abdomen) to raise their body temperature. collectively, they can get their little oven up to 117 degrees (i think it was farenheit, but i could be wrong...) while the hornet can only withstand 115. bake the scout and the cavalry doesn't know a thing.

number one on the list was the yellow jacket. they make the largest colonies of the wasp family numbering in the HUNDREDS of thousands in one nest. so these two dudes suit up (the crazy guy and a professional pest controller) and just walking near the nest (~10-20ft.) and talking, hundreds start pouring out of this hole in the ground. 2 minutes later, THOUSANDS, 5 minutes later, and it's like a cloud of locusts come to swallow the earth. the hole looks like it's literally pouring out of itself and the dudes start getting stung through their suits and bail. craziest fucking sight.

now he's taking a nap with his foot in a leech infested river...(blood suckers show).

and i was planning on going to sleep early...now i'm gonna have nightmares.

oh speaking of bugs, in my last post i mentioned the i think i sprained my ankle in a drunken stupor. um...took a better look after scratching the fuck out of my ankle and realized that something bit me. something...big. there's two holes in my ankle right where that tendon was hurting...i'm thinking either a centipede or a big spider :-/ fucking WEIRD. i put some anti-itch and then antibiotics and a bandaid on it when i found it and the next morning it was scabbed up and the ankle pain was gone! wtf!

also have a weird bite on my thigh that swelled up to the size of a quarter and actually like...bruised. another first. what the fuck is going on with me...i haven't even been hiking or anything. doubt it's my room, i sleep 3 ft. above the ground....

bah.

i guess i taste good, fucking bugs.