not the flu

no, i don't have the flu...i don't know what the fuck i have, but, i have discovered the secret to my scrawny physique. if you'd rather not hear about my various stomach illnesses or otherwise nasty weight loss plans, stop reading.









still here (i wonder if anyone actually leaves after disclaimers like that....i mean seriously, with that kind of intro and nobody to see you scroll down...who could resist?)?

either way, i've had some very odd illnesses in my time...and a few of them have taken a lot of my weight. now..may not seem like a bad thing, but when you're 5'9" and 145 lbs....a 'little weight' could be a bad thing.

first encounter (in memorable history and of mentionable significance.....it was maybe a week or two before i left for college, freshmen year. orientation to be exact....either way, i caught mono *shrugs*. before you ponder it too much, i hadn't kissed anyone in QUITE a while by that time, so i have no idea where i got it. either way, within that week i lost TEN POUNDS...in one week. i just calculated it out, and i think i weighed about 135 before that, so i went down to 125....roughly losing 7.4% of my body mass...not a good thing. i was still pretty sick when i went to school, but mostly just recovering, i wasn't still sick. it wasn't that i had some sort of weird stomach ailment or anything, but seriously, i just wasn't awake enough of the time to actually EAT. there's no way to get three meals a day when you're sleeping for like, sixteen hours straight. when my brother got it he slept 22 hours straight once...with just some pee breaks and water i think. so yeah, if you happened to meet me that early in my colelge career....do you remember how skinny i was then? i doubt it.

second occurance was sometime sophomore year, the week before a cold mother fuckin' delaware tournament to be exact (you'll see why i remember that in a bit). either way, it was in the middle of midterms or something....and i got some NASTY stomach disease that turned anything i ate into a ball of fiery pain. my poop was black which i'm vaguely certain is an indication that i'm digesting my blood (meaning something in there is bleeding....) but i seriously had NO time to go to health services and spend three hours waiting to see a doctor who'll give me tums. so i opted to curl up in a ball of pain every night after studying my ass off, in pain, and sleep it off, only to repeat it the next day. when even water made my stomach hurt, i just stopped putting things in my mouth except my toothbrush.
this time, in less than a week i lost ten pounds again. i think by this time i was up to at least 140, so ten pounds would be 7.1% of my bodymass. i happened to get better the DAY BEFORE the two day tournament that weekend at delaware, i wake up, i still feel fine, i'd eaten, i'd slept, i pooped brown, i went to play.
i played a good amount on the first day, not much energy but i never really have much energy at a tournament since i never seem to sleep before them....either way, the second day was where i had a weird problem.....i woke up the next morning and my feet were two big appendages of RASH. yeah, my feet...were rashes....it hurt like a motherfucker. so my solution? bitch at gil for yelling at me when i didn't run with the team 'cause i was busy taping up my feet in their entirety. the worst rash was on my ankle so i taked that shit up completely felt like a mummy from the knee down 'cause i could barely flex my ankle...but i could run fine somehow. played the day...felt like my feet were gonna lose about three layers of skin (we do only HAVE three layers right?) and was reminded of what a masochistic bastard i am.

third on the list, making up the WORST 12 hours of my life, and possibly relating to more crap a day later, was after the superbowl party at drew's place. there was a SHITLOAD of food, we ate a lot. i only drank like, half a beer 'cause my stomach was feeling 'funny'. decided not to drink on such a heavy stomach. either way, i start getting mildly nauseous and i just think i ate too much. i leave a bit earlier than i usually would with christian, walked with him to his place in the snow, and caught a bus home. i thought i was gonna puke on the bus, but managed to hold it in. i got off on riverside park, thought i should just puke on a tree or something so i wouldn't have to worry about it, but decided to get home and try and get to bed....either way, i'm so nauseous at this point i can't sleep and so i go online and start reading about the norwalk virus that i'd been reading about in the news (and from christian's first hand experience). if anything read the fifth paragraph of that link. either way, i spent like ten hours puking my guts out with such VIOLENT stomach convulsions that i was really afraid of breaking my back again. no joke, i was scared. what a story that woulda' made.....
either way, i was puking water after a while 'cause i just had NOTHING in my stomach....but i did eventually get to sleep. the next day, however, karen had booked a bunch of us (liu, austin, rachel, kix, i think) for restaurant week at a swedish restaurant called 'aquavit'. somewhere near the beginning of the meal some peeps on the table noticed me getting a bit red. by the entree i was noticably red, sweating a little, and i was feeling it but still ignoring it. by the time dessert came all i could do was taste it 'cause i felt like just a pat on the tummy would make me puke....and then i started getting hives all over my face and hands. i went to the bathroom and checked my chest and arms and it was starting there too. i was about to just go home but they decided to come with me so we made a quick exit as i attempted not to puke in a pretty restaurant, got home, took of my shirt and was COVERED with hives...ugh....i felt like shit. i decided to just sleep it off though, and i was fine when i woke up a few hours later for a party at tricia's which is one of the few parties i've EVERY been to that i didn't drink. yeah...that was an interesting couple'a days. come to think of it, i don't think my stomahc's really been the same ever since....

and the last bout with my stomach...today. yesterday at dinner i wasn't very hungry when my dad served dinner, but i ate as much as i could anyway. there was no reason for me to not be hungry, but i was extremely tried and achy. i thought i caught my sister's flu-like cold. i slept. woke up this morning with explosive dirrhea though. k maybe not explosive, but i had the runs, and still have the runs (14 hours later). my mom's worried about me getting dehydrated and i can't eat much....i feel like shit still. i went to lunch with my aunty and sister...aunty lilly bought lunch so i ate what i could. at one point when we were waiting for our food though, according to my sister i turned green, and after feeling my forehead said i was ice cold and sweating. i made my way back to the table, almost fainiting along the way but hiding it from my aunty so she wouldn't worry....i felt better after sitting down. when we got in the car afterwards, though, i burned up with a fever and slep the entire way home....*shrugs* weird shit.

hope i feel better tomorrow.

let's do lunch ;) i'm sure none of you ever want to disregard any more of my disclaimers now, heh heh