lazy lazy lazy

wow, didn't realize i hadn't blobbed in so long. see wednesday's post for crappy excuses :) i've just been surfing, sleeping, surfing, sleeping.

a lot's been on my mind lately...i'll try and be quick. first of all, possibly biggest, is i have an interview this thursday with a dude from pearl harbor....you know, that military harbor that was bombed by the japanese....they want 20 engineers in 2004, possibly in conjunction with the long-term docking of a fucking AIR CRAFT CARRIER and all it's little escorts (destroyers and scuh) which is going to bring hawaii billions of dollars (i've heard they'll need 16,000 homes to house the sailors...or whatever you call them). i dunno, i'll tell you more when i get the info. BUT, military jobs give SHITLOADS of benefits. a friend of my cousin's got a job out of undergrad paying 60k dollars. on top of stipends and housing hlep and this and that and a kitchen sink. if i don't get the job...i can continue my life as i was already fucking up :) if i DO get the job however....i imagine i'm going to be a bit on edge trying to make that decision. for one thing, i've fallen in love with surfing like no other hobby i've ever had. yesterday i learned how to do a frontside top turn...meaning i can carve now. today, i learned how to top turn backside...so i can carve either way now. from there the learning curve kicks straight up and i'm finally feeling like a real surfer :) so, if i get this job..i get to surf the most consistent soul surfing on earth to look forward to on weekends, days off, and dusks.

moreso, i really do love the people in hawaii...and there's no other place in the world i'd like to raise a family. i always wondered if it would be a problem asking a girl i meet on the mainland to move to hawaii with me. on one hand it's like..duh...hawaii...but on the other hand...some people are as attached to their home just as much as i am *shrugs* even if it is bumblefuck oklhoma or somthing. so....if i could plant myself in hawaii right off the bat...i could start living my dream. i was thinking that i'd wanted to stay in nyc for a bit to enjoy the things i didn't have time for, especially since i have other friends doing the same, and my brother and sister have planted themselves there too. but this is how my pipe dreams end....i dunno. we'll have to see where my priorities lie. i guess i could wait to see what they think of me...or at least wait to see if i even like what they have to offer.

arggg, i hate making decisions.

'nother thing i've been contemplating...women...again *shrugs*. it's no secret now that i'm as celibate as a monk....when i was younger i was always told that 21 is when you become an adult....and my mom always 'hoped' that we'd wait 'till then for sex....although i think that's because she thought by then we should be finding our wife. mostly, though, i think she just thought that was a good age for us to make the right decisions instead of being influenced by the wrong things and making regretable mistakes. why'd i bring this up? oh yeah...women. now that i AM 21, i still don't give a shit about sex. i mean...i DO, but i don't want it to be something that'll make my decisions for me...and it probably would 'cause i'm a horny little bastard most of the time :) funny how that works.

what else....oh...cat (who reads this occasionally, hi cat) informed me that she probably would've gone for me had i just KISSED her one night we were together over christmas break...and that she woudl've gone for me enough to come visit nyc once in a while....so that's twice i've missed a chance to date her. yay! i'm such a wimp, i love it.

candace still hates me, but she still wants to hang out with me. wtf!?

being away from nyc, i keep thinking of all the girls i'm attracted to up there...and wonder if i should just DATE more. i mean...there's lots i don't know about all of them...and you always find out weird, interesting things about a girl you date that you never would've discovered as 'just a friend'. i dunno. i guess i've been getting kinda lonely. of course next year i'll be livin' with three of my closest (male) friends....maybe that'll cure the loneliness. yes eric. i'm GAY.

then there's all the shit i was thinking about before...grad school (i'm seriously contemplating MIT, i dunno if i can even get in...), work? life. a tattoo. my hair.


*sigh* sorry if i've been kind f distant lately, but i'll be back in nyc on the 14th with nothing to do anyway so come find me, let's get a beer.

surf's up