perfection


music: krock - foo fighters - *shrugs*
volume: 13


you ever get so close eto solving a problem that you spend HOURS making it just perfect? like....if you've come this far you might as well take it further. yeah...i usually DON'T do that. somehow, on this project, though....i'm doing it. i had it pretty much finished yesterday...but i found a tiny detail that i'd missed in the assignment that made my circuit just a LITTLE bit wrong (i thought it said < but it said = .... you'd be amazed how much more the equals sign sucks). so that started me on a long chain of calculations, in the process of which i found a couple of ways to improve my circuit....drop capacitance....increase power efficiency....yeah. i'm a dork. so here i am at 10pm with an almost PERFECT circuit. there are still extra steps i could go into...but i don't see the point anymore 'cause there's no way i could get like, more points or anything. but yeah....i usually don't give a shit. i barely even turn in completed problem sets and i spend like four hours shifting my parameters to compensate for approximations.....oh well. it's really pretty now at least :)

now i just gotta' print shit out and write a little bit on my design approach, shouldn't be hard. i'm used to reviewing my train of thought...although usually it's much less 'concrete' than this was. it's odd to build something and know every intricate detail. my circuit has 16 bjt's (bipolar transistors), 11 resistors (two of which were given), and four capacitors. doesn't sound too bad but when you have to finely tune each component to do a certain purpose it because your baby.

reminds me of when i used to do ceramics....sometimes there are things you do that you can't see in the end product...most importantly your curves and thicknesses. even though i was churning out dozens of pots in a week...i remembered every one of them. if i saw a bookcase FULL of pots with just one of mine in there...i could find it. no doubt. i would probably remember appx. when i made it as well. they're my babies :) i really miss that. my house is full of pots 'cause some i just couldn't sell....or...my mom claimed them. she always had dibs on almost anything she wanted...unless it was really expensive and i had a buyer.

either way, i really miss having things like this....that i put so much time in and it's MINE. psets are crap. papers just piss me off. i haven't picked up my guitar much at all this year. i'm not involved in any of my side projects at the moment. nothing to cling to...*sigh* and now my project's done and i get to go back to all the mundane steps of finishing this empty, empty semester.


i want my life back.


or something else to give it to. someone? maybe not right now.




closer