failed

changed my 'blog description'. realized that that's really not what this blog is anymore. i started out this blog long ago (i'm getting all nostalgic because of christian now) to indulge in the newfound philosophy of foucalt and his idea of the panopticon. i'm not gonna rehash it again...go look it up (i spelled it right ;). basically, foucalt was the only thing i enjoyed about an entire YEAR of contemporary civilizations (core required philosophy class for all you non-columbians reading this...which is probably...two people? if that.)

but yeah, a personal panopticon is impossible. we are a social people. and unfortunately the rest of the world isn't as shamless as i :) don't know how that happened but ehh, i enjoy it. too much of my life revolves around others to be as open as i'd like, though. this slapped me in the face recently at work, actually. i purposely don't talk about work a whole lot here because i already know things in a few business circles that i'm not supposed to. just seems best not to. but yeah last week sometime i asked all the wrong questions (just out of curiosity) and MORE spilled to me that i'm totally not supposed to know (it was even agreed upon beforehand that i wasn't to be told before i started workin' there). so even moreso....can't talk about work much *shrugs*.

women...yeah...fine...you win..i've learned my lesson. i've stopped fuckin' writin' about it (most of the time). so far i'm pretty sure my 16000 hits or so (amazing, no?) are almost entirely from new york...but every once in a while i'll get hits from university of hawaii and i get a bit worried that someone found me and isn't tellin' me? i have a lotta grad student friends there...and at least one i've told about this here blog...but then we got drunk and he never asked about it again. and yeah, if anything ever DID happen with tam, i'm sured she'd find me here eventually :) so i'll keep most of that quiet as well. (just enough to keep austin reading).

family...yeah. i do have some sense of respect, believe it or not.

so that leaves ultiamte...which is benign enough...ultimate parties...which are pretty much public domain anyway....surfing...which is just mine...and raimi....which is ALL MINE. christian mentioned me living "the life you wish you had"....but i really only post the best things here. i'm still the karma killin' lame humored schmuck you know and love :) i just have lots to fill my spare time with for the most part. oh, and a little bit'a money helps.

so thanks for reading, all of you (even though i still don't know who the fuck most of you ARE....40 hits!? what the hell). please understand that it's not the balls out open book of my life it used to be, much to my dismay. but i've fought it, and the shy people in my little world win :) congrats.


was that a point?

i dunno, you decide. ain't no fuckin' essay.