one'a those days

it's one'a those "why do i blog" days....don't know why.

why do i blog? 'cause i like being heard. i check my nedstat every once in a while and i usually get close to 30 hits a day if not more...one day a few weeks ago i got clost to 70 for some weird reason (a fluke) i figured someone was going back and forth through all my links...bu then i remembered tha ti have all my links targetted to "blank" so it opens a new window and that back and forth thing shouldn't happen....so i dunno what the fuck was up with that.

so i check my nedstat and i see hits. what i usually blog is just...train of thought. what wants to come out comes out. what i want heard, comes out. and people read, so i keep doing it 'cause i want people to hear it. long, long ago i pressed the idea of the panopticon...of being open in every way to the rest of the world and forced to behave under the restraint of what I personally perceived to be society's morale. found out that my life involves other lives, and most other lives don't like being exposed very much. i guess i should respect that but (apologies) the way i am makes me see that as a weakness. shamless.

sooo i don't blog everything now. A LOT, i do blog, but i try and keep as much of it as i can personal, and STRICLY personal. i don't talk about friends much (deeply), girls (that's trouble), not family very much. tam checks this every once in a while. i think my sister vanessa does too, sometimes. my mom would probably read the entire thing start to finish if she knew it existed. i probably wouldn't mind very much, except for the fact that i'd have to explain most of it to her anyway (i can hear it now: "you did what!?")...but for the most part i figure my biggest audience is the columbia ultimate crew. funny how i've kept in touch with only a handful of them yet they still read my blog. it's a good feeling. every once in a while i'll send a shoutout to someone on AIM or something and they'll be at least a little up-to-date on me...and i them, sometimes. i admit, my blog reading is pretty weak these days, but i do sit down for an hour once in a while and read months worth of blogs. happy to see that i'm still linked....and also happy to see that i'm still one'a the most frequent bloggers ('cept when eric gets in one'a his moods) even though i get the urge less often these days. honestly...i'm barely home. even unemployed...i see my mom only a few times a week. too easy to wake up after her and come home after she falls asleep....just the way my schedule works, unfortunately. i make it a point to come home just to see her sometimes, though. she's going through some hard times.

my parents are going to get divorced soon. that is....once my dad has the balls to talk about it more. so, probably going to have to sell the house *sob*. the only way it can happen, unfortunately. don't feel comfortable leaving my mom alone yet, though, so i'll probably rent a place with her at least for a little while before i leave her and go out on my own. i can't be a live-with-mom type forever, but i'm glad to be here for her right now. she needs somebody. all i really need to be happy is a garage to indulge in my hobbies (raimi and surfboards) and someplace beau (my dog) can be happy. oh...and a job :) but i think that's comin' along just fine. confident....at least.

we'll see how that holds up :)

oh, and i decided on the next car i want (truck/SUV). i want a ford bronco. ford bronco II (smaller) if i can find one...but that's not easy. like women, i can't explain why certain ones attract me. but i do need something more useful...and i just like the bronco *shrugs*.

talk about a sidetrack.

so yeah...dont' talk about a whole lotta 'deep' things in my life these days....'cause most of those involve others, and i don't like talkinga bout others here anymore. too much goddamn trouble (shameful bastards ;)



show some balls

wear a kilt.

weee!

so i got an "informal" job offer....i think:

"Jess,

Just checking to see if you are still interested in a position with our
company. We can send you a formal offer if you like.
Let me know.
Thanks"


that sounds like a job offer to me...welcome to hawaii...where nothing is certain :) either way, i'm psyched. i emailed back saying i WOULD like a formal offer and a date by which i had to respond by, and i got an email back saying to set up a meeting with the company's president *cringe*. i'm still in that mode where i feel like i'm nobody and don't deserve to talk to people in such positions. i think it's a dumb mode...but i can't help it yet. bottom of the totem pole and all....

but yeah, the company is Cedric D.O. Chong and associates...a "multi-discipline" engineering firm (apparently the biggest in the state) that does electrical and mechanical engineering as well as fireproofing (i'd be glad to test it, haha). they do mostly government and industrial type things...and they were really interested that i had CAD experience because the way it works now is they have dedicated CAD drafters and dedicated engineers. they'd be happy to have someone who could design straight into CAD...and it gives me a smooth transition...i can draft their stuff as i learn it.

SO PSYCHED. if they offer me good money i'll pretty much take the job. the other company considering me now is less apealing and i just applied to a few military jobs that are far from home (driving wise) but would play a shitload (can you say COLA?)

but this job would be a HUGE career start. ...i feel like i only had a false start so far.


*bouncy*

nevermind

re: last post

nevermind, figured it out. when you post the check, it puts it on the top of the "to be paid" list on your credit card (FILO!)...just like cash advances are put on the bottom, ass holes. so if you did what i proposed, you'd just pay off the check with itself, in essence LOSING money because of the 3% transaction fee. what you reall need is two credit cards...but i have the wrong one (the one with a balance) offering me the deal...so someone definitely did their math before i tried to screw them.

note to self, don't try to damn the man on a lonely night at 2am.

i'll keep trying :)

loop hole

so i payed a big chunk of one'a my credit cards recently and since then, they keep sending me 'convenience checks' that i can use just like checks, but they post to my credit card balance at these ridiculous rates.

...what's to stop me from depositing the checks into my checking account, and then just paying off the credit card with the cash to eliminate my normal rate (which is pretty high) balance? there's a 3% transaction fee on it as well...i'll do the math later and see what it looks like but i'm pretty sure i'll win since my normal APR sucks balls.

just thought i'd throw it out there to see if i'm missing something.


hook

job update

well then, three interviews. i guess i'm getting a little better at them. austin, sorry, but i actually told that group (software engineering) that i wasn't interested...before the second interview so's not to waste their time. he was...appreciative? i guess.

other two interviews were for straight up engineering firms...mostly end up doing lighting and power applications for public type stuff (wiring/lighting buildings/businesses). boring, but at least it involves some technical aspects. applied to another job called NovaSol which does optics and sensors. pretty cool stuff, and based in hawaii, nonetheless.

so the runners right now are the two engineering firms. one seemed to just have to figure out an offer for me *crosses fingers*, and the other seemed to have a big problem with my implications that i want to start a business someday and if they hire me, i won't be there 'till i die. a valid concern, i guess. it's a smaller company so i can see how it would be a problem.

ooooon the other hand. i'm never gonna borrow anyone else's surfboard ever again. i just have bad karma methinks. i mean, granted, i've dinged the shit out of my board, but i don't think it's THAT much of a big deal considering how much i go out in really shallow reefs. but yeah...dinged tam's board again yesterday 'cause ariel and dan wanted to go out and i was in town without a board...we ended up staying out way past sunset (near-full moon) and having a bit of a problem getting out of the water without being able to see th erocks. ariel got in fine, 'cause he knew where the channel was (went in before dan and i), dan tried to go up these rocks up a wall...a big wave came and washed him up the wall, snapping two of his skegs off, putting him in a chest high hole, and gashing his knee/shin. i went to look for the channel and found myself on a dry reef (dry meaning the water would completely drain off it between waves) with a set coming...which is where i dinged tam's board on the bottom :( not bad, but i felt horrible. AND she cut me off from borrowing her board 'cause it's her only one. at least until she gets a second, but still, never again. unless it's offered to me...or maybe even PUSHED on me. i just don't wanna deal with that anymore.

sooooo her board's drying (i repaired it), and after a sanding we're goin' surfing later today. tail end of this sweet south swell.



surf's up

hot damn

well...i picked a bad time to start interviews again...fuckin' near-advisory surf hitting the south shores (summer's here!!!) for the NEXT TWO WEEKS!!! although that could also mean that it's a good time to get medical insurance :) haha.

had a spectacular weekend. friday night was tammy's (and her friend kim's) birthday party (tam's birthday is today, 4/18, kim's is 4/19) and i just told her goodnight :( i got to the party late 'cause i had ultimate...brought mom :) that was...interesting. my mom left, however, when some chick showed up and passed out on the stoop...peeing herself. apparentlys he smoked too much pot beforehand...my mom felt a little out of place...oh well. she's cool with it. she had a good time (friday was mom's birthday).

saturday...ugh...haven't had a hangover that bad in a LONG time. but, nonetheless, made it to the kokua festival (jack johnson!) and then later that night went to hard rock to say g-love (who was also at kokua) play 'till like 2:30am. good thing we were getting around on bicycles to avoid traffic/parking. ended up putting them in my friend ariel's truck and hitchin' a ride...good deal. good night. LOOONG night. aaaaand today (sunday) essectially useless. woke up late, ate late (dinner), and helped tam fix a dinged board for some birthday surf tomorrow afternoon. prolly have something like three interviews this week. i have to study...ugh. unbelievable. but hey, this is what i asked for, isn't it?

great weekend. good surf comin'. good thing i spent the past few weeks of shitty ass surf getting back in shape.



booyah

interest

got a call on monday (answering machine) responding to a job application i sent in a month ago (before i even quit)...but for another job. i applied to an electrical engineering job aimed towards designing medical...not diagnostic...surveilance equipment? i dunno...my minds gone to shit lately, can't think of the word i want (too much resin fumes inhaled without a respirator). but yeah, they actually decided to outsource the EE part of it in the end (not a bad idea) but they called me because they're interested in my SOFTWARE engineering background, mainly signal analysis, which i know lots about. should actually be relatively easy since the signals i'll be analyzing will be at like, 10 Hz (heartbeat) instead of 10 GHz (cell phone). i'm kinda psyched to use Matlab and C++ again...ironically. i hated all types of coding for the most part...but right now i need a fuckin' challenge. i did like Matlab, though...every new thing i learned on it amazed me.

another thing? once it's build (estimated 9 months) it would be a good time to leave if i want, haha. i'm actually liking the idea of having a hundred jobs in ten years...would make my resume...interesting...but that won't matter once i start a business, now will it....

soooo i have two companies intersted in me right now. just waiting for them to get back to me for an interview appointment. still have two leads from an old boss that i haven't pursued...they wanted me to snail mail a resume and cover sheet...i finally broke down and got a printer off craigslist. nifty little thing (photo quality, prints on CD's directly...epson stylus photo r200 if you're intersted) for $50...mostly new, ink about 2/3rds full. just realized, this is the first printer I'VE ever owned. *sigh*...oh Jake, how i miss thee. or NINJa...which stood for "something something NOT Jake". dumbasses. speaking of which i can't find my W-2 from columbia Acis. fuckall. gotta file for extension. but now, now i can print shit. not that i'll print much, but my mom can also use it for work (so she can work at home some).

and the blog comment (seen a lotta those)...i don't blog nearly enough as i used to. i remember my last template (still at columbia) was set up so that there was a big block for each DAY, newest first, and within each day the posts were arranged oldest first...because i really would post more than once in a day on many days. not so much anymore. the most important thing to me about this blog now is that people read it *shrugs*. i got to the end of 'the dark tower' finally (stephen king) and in the author's note he mentioned that it's only because of the readers that the story survived. same deal...i check my stats and see 35 hits a day...and i'm like...wow...i better give them something. i haven't been very good about keeping in touch with too many people (or...anybody) from columbia. spoots says i've "moved on" (as christian did) and i kind of have...but it's painful. random IM conversations, an email every month or so, a drunken phone call from NYC...but people still read my blog...so i enjoy writing. even if you don't comment (Bastards).

me, personally...i don't read blogs compulsively anymore. before, that was just one'a the things i checked when i sat down at the computer...now i check them every couple days (usually not less than once a week) out of sheer curiosity. not boredom like it used to be in college...i honestly have a lot to do with my time these days. even unemployed, haha. surfboards, raimi, surf, ultimate, home improvement, finally picked up the guitar again...i feel like using the computer wastes sunlight. i generally sit down at night when i'm about to go to sleep. so different from college...and i don't miss it. what i DO miss is the challenge, the learning, the discovering...and i'm trying to find that in a job now. if i can't...plan B is to go back to school and try and get into research. maybe here, maybe elsewhere. haven't gotten that far yet.

the roots are sprouting. digging deeper. i like that feeling.


that was a novel...just like old times.


thanks for reading


*kiss*

fuckers

so i'm finally getting my credit card statements in...and those fuckers DID use one of my credit cards. at a 7-11, mcdonalds, and a gas station. $65 total...what retards. i'd probably feel better if they bought more, 'cause then it wouldnt've been a buncha' fuckin' retards who stole my shit. why can't i be the victim of some fuckin' secret spy operation out of canada or something cool like that? no. i get a couple'a dildos who go to mcdonalds.

unbelievable.

*sigh*

kosher?

is it kosher to file an insurance claim on april fool's day?

final total: $1198.75

that sounds like a lot...and i didn't even lie about anything...and i was even pretty conservative about pricing the things i wasn't sure about ($15/ea. for CD's)...i doubt they'll cover it all, though.

pretty ridiculous when you add up all the shit you carry...in TWO BAGS, i had $1200 worth of shit. hell in one small CD wallet (24 albums) i had over $300 worth. kinda scary...

ehh...hope for the best. the dude i talked to sounded promising, though.



oomp