black coat white shoes black hat cadillac

my hair's a time bOoOmb.

i mean, my hair's black again. i' mdying it for the job, my boss didn't want to ask but i brought it up and offered to do whatevers. she said she actually liked it :) but would appreciate me dying it back to the base. kinda ran outa dye but i managed to comb it through so only the back/bottom is a dark brown instead of black. pretty hard to notice anyway.

off to wash it out....wee.

ribs

good day surfing

went out early this morning (eight am) 'cause i had to drop my dad off at work before then. went to waikiki today 'cause there's a south swell approaching pickin' up the wave heights and i figured at that early in the morning there wouldn't be much of a crowd out there. i was right, it was sweet. the wind was still calm (it's like that in the morning in hawaii) so the water was GLASSY. so beautiful. i met this little kid out there too (thirteen, fourteen) named kainoa. he was a better surfer than i and we were talkin' about some breaks that we were familiar with and this and that about surfing. very talkative guy, every wave he'd catch ('cause he'd catch like twice as many as i) he'd swim up and be like "whoa, blah blah blah!" heh, it was fun. he gave me a few pointers too...kind of him.

also on the list today, i SMACKED my right testicle so fuckin' hard i thought it was going to fall off. i coaught this wave and didn't survive the drop, catching a far edge and catapulting straight down onto the surface of the water kind of belly-flopping my package....ouch. i had a bob around there for a few minutes to let the pain reside.

i also sliced my left foot pretty deeply. it went kinda sideways, under the skin getting down to some white meat. no muscle though...but this one'll hurt. going for the isopropyl in a few minutes :) can't wait!!!

that's me, who're you?

saimin

fuck you too kix

fuck you too kix

you know you're the only girl i've slept with that i still talk to kix? i'm very happy for that. it would be a shame if you didn't talk to me anymore. regardless, how is coming to hang out with us not a goal? shite. all it is is money. just put your life off for another year or so and work at the heights so you can get us free drinks :)

okay i'll stop now.

you hate me.

killer quiz

killer quiz

If i was a serial killer i would be Jack the Ripper. Jack the Ripper, by far the most notorious killer of all time. What would drive a man to kill 5 prostitutes, surgically mutilate the bodies, then stop, to never be heard from again? Most of the murders were pretty much the same, the victim had her throat cut and her abdomen exposed, the intestines were placed over her right shoulder and sometimes a kidney or even the heart had been removed. Jack the RIpper's murders are still unsolved. Kill count: 5 Find what serial killer you would be, Take the Serial Killer Quiz now!

mildly disturbing....but i'm still very proud of myself :)

insomnia

insomnia


albeit this time out of stupidity. i passed out after my mom and i went garage saling and turned off my alarm when in went off after an hour nap. yeah...woke up about three hours later...oh well.

so i've just been drinking my dad's beer which has more alchol than steel reserve, and tastes better. doesn't taste 'great' like his other beers usually do, got a bit of loose sugar in it that didn't get eaten by the yeast. if there's one thing i don't like in beer it's sugar. the only sweet beer i like is ass 'cause it's more of a honey taste than straight sugar. i got kinda tired of bass though...i used to drink it a lot. now my favorite beer is this local beer from kona brewing company called 'fire rock pale ale'. very heavy taste, dry (not sweet), and more alcohol than most beers ;) either way, i've had about five pints of this tuff now over quite a long time (too full to drink faster) and i'm buzzed...but not tired yet. i managed to find "the city of lost children" on tv so i'm watching that now. if you haven't seen this movie, you have to. i'll buy it at some point (if eric doesn't first). it's in french, kind of sci-fi-ish in an old school sci fi sort of way. made scientists and ass holes corrupting poor orphans and such, and "one" who's just a cool motherfucker. and there's this little girl (me and eric had this conversation) who i can't help but think is absolutely beautiful. i mean...she's REALLY young and i feel like a fuckin' pedophile, but she's just got the most gorgeous face. eric's justification and saving grace (he agreed with me) was that she'll "grow up to be really hot". helps...but i still feel like a pedophile :) i guess i can handle that. 'specially since i can't bring myself to do anything with any girl...ever.....i think it's safe.

just realized something else about this movie....there's something about the head dude not being able to dream.....what a curse. and on that tangent there's a line in one of evanescence's songs about how she can't keep an old flame out of her dreams, but "dream i do". dreams continue to intrigue me, as always. there are long spans of time when my sleep is particularly fucked up that i can't remember any of my dreams (noting that people "always" dream they say, it's just that sometimes we have trouble remembering them) and i kind of feel like i'm missing something. like, all work and no play, nowhere to be...simply...free in my thoughts. touches on another simple philosophy that i adhere to forcing me to try and deal with every thought i have. it bothers me a lot when people try to supress and avoid certain thoughts that they have 'cause they're ashamed of them or something. i on the other hand try to embrace, ponder, and understand them all. often difficult...for example....this little french girl :)
i dunno if it's the right tactic yet. it was a big problem i had with candace (making it a daily bitchbitch for now). she's done a lot of things in her life that she is almost disgusted of (not really tthat bad in retrospect). this was a big part of our downfall methinks....she refused to deal with anything. she actively tried to simply not think about these things instead. i like to tell myself, and almost entirely believe that i "didn't mind" the things that she'd done, judging her as a person (and the girli was commiting my love life to at the time), but i was really bothered that she couldn't deal with the things that she'd done. it made me think about how i, above all,strive to never regret anything. every action i make is preceeded by countless ponderings and guesses and twists of every outcome i can think of...it turns into a bit of a burden (i.e. my shyness towards women) but it's kept me out of trouble thus far. i still stand by all the decisions i've "made", but maybe not all the decisions i avoided making....like not doing something and missing an opportunity.

i've kind of dug myself into a maze...i'll try and make sense of this. so with candace...the big problem i had wither her not standing by her decisions was that i felt like i, when i was with her, would put myself into a position to be steamrolled by one of her dumb decisions and adversely affected by something she only half thought through. in a few words, i COULD NOT TRUST HER. mainly, i couldn't trust her ecisions because she had no sense of responsibility to them. actually, i'll at least offer her some dignity and say that i didn't think i could trust her, blah blah blah. i touched on it with her and she tried to justify that it was something like parts of her life she'd like to forget...but they seemed to all be based on the same approach to life....and i felt like i was just another. who knows, i could've been wrong. she was under a lot of pressure when she was with me (pressure from things in life that had nothing to do with me), and i wasn't helping any of that being, simply, the person that i am....unwavering, cold at times, and stubborn (redundant too, at times).

so back to the basis of this whole thing. i don't bar thoughts from my mind. if something hurts, i think about it more *shrugs*. more masochism i suppose. i still think it's healthy..."whatever doesn't kill you makes you stronger", right? i guess we'll see. i'm not proud of a lot of the things i think, and i am embarrassed and almost disgusted by some of them...but my justificiation is that i have no control over them. i can try to forget them, deny them, avoid them, or just fail to acknowledge them...but i can't control them. they're there. that's why i like dreams, because i have even less control over them...i don't even have the control to deny them. let's make a point with an interesting story, shall we? i once had a dream about a male friend of mine.....but in the dream, he wasn't a dude. we were at a party, he (she) hit on me, i look down and he's (she's) naked with the wrong plumbing. after remembering that dream i seriously considered homosexuality, kind of testing myself. very quickly, however, i was happy to find that the dream was something other than an indication that i was gay :) gay porn just doesn't do it for me. yeah, yeah, i've seen some in my life. more than i would've liked to see i found in the women's med kit though.....

so yeah, "keeping an open mind", to me, is sometimes MOST challenged by my own psyche. ironically keeping an open mind is what prevents me from letting many girls near me in 'that way' because if i do...i'll probably nver forget them. and when the time comes that i want to devote myself, mind and body, to one woman....i don't want her to be just another jar on the shelf.

the other alternative is to just hook up with so many girls that i can't keep track anymore.....*shrugs, innocent face* for sake of love? ehh???

yeah i'll work on that one. i'll shut up now

surf

so my mom decided to give me $100 towards a surf board for my birthday ( a month away). heh...score. i was thinking about it and granted i'm only going to be using it for about a month and a half now, but it'll always be here for me....AND, i can't really think of anything else i really want/need right now. *shrugs* so we went to some garage sales and used board places in kailua today but didn't find anything that i really liked, so the hunt continues.

i went out to diamond head again (i think i'm on day nine or something) and i'm getting pretty good at this. i'm learning how to deal with the speed and i'm catching bigger waves now. still not the greatest at turning...it doesn't help that the wave is predominantly a right....i guess i should explain that. well, in surfing...as in, snowboarding, say, you have to choose which way you ride. you can ride 'regular', which is left food forward, or 'goofy', with your right foot forward. i ride goofy (as i learned snowboarding), called that simply because less people ride that way (it's kind of a right/left hand thing) so on a right (a wave that breaks to the right), my back is to the wave, and it's a bit difficult to be riding something i have to look over my shoulder to see, while trying to balance. it's much easier to ride a wave when you're facing it (for me, a left) 'cause the wave's right in front of you to see. i'm getting the hang of it though. at diamond head the left is okay...but the problem is the current and wind always go to the left, so if i go left, i have to fight the current and the wind to get back and you'll always get caught inside and get POUNDED. lotsa fun...but i'll pass. if you catch the left, you ride right back into the channel and can swim back out around the break.

i think pretty soon i might try kewalo's, which is a pretty left with a channel, but the reef gets shallow as you ride in so that might be....painful. we'll see ;)

'nother scrimmage tomorrow morning. nice wake up motivation i suppose.....i don't think i'll be in the best shape. i've found that i can't be "active" (surfing, blading, ultimating) every day....i need some rest now and then ; ) getting old.....

home brew

weekly (daily...hourly....) bitch bitch

so finally failed in my avoidance of candace tonight. jordan (my friend, her cousin) had a little party at his place in 'ewa and she showed up. for a while it was just me there and she called saying she was on her way....good thing women take forever 'cause others showed up before her. either way, i didn't say much to her, talked to her friend kristi more...'bout surfing. for once candace didn't try and corner me, and i left before most people 'cause i have the farthest to drive, i was getting buged by 'the drunk guy' being sober, and yeah, didn't wanna give candace the chance ;)

she smelled damn good though...i have a kind of 'olfactory memory' of sorts (as oposed to photographic almost)...i remember lots of things based on smells, it's kind of creepy. maybe it's something lots of peopl edo and i'm just full of shit, but it seems a bit more than that to me at least. either way, after being so close to someone for as long as we were...her smell brings back...er...memories. very good memories, but unfortunately they're good memories that will never be anything more than memories anymore.

and this is why i want her out of my life...bit harsh, but in all my contemplations i come back to that most of the time.

and then i can go onto a 'six degrees of seperation' of sorts...where i can relate almost anything i see/hear/feel/smell/taste to something about her that i'd rather not remember.

this can't be healthy.


on another note, i got access to another friends' board (friends' brother to be exact) which is much better than the current board i'm using....maybe now i'll be able to keep up with the hot surfer girls at diamond head?

killian's irish red

scrimmage

it seems i'll be scrimmaging with my loco moco team tonight instead of pickup. this should be fun. i might go to the beach and go bodysurfing for a bit first. there was a big swell supposed to hit today but something didn't line up right and it kinda fizzled out. i could stand to go get my ass pounded at sandy's ;)

i dropped my sister off at the airport today *sigh*. we had a good time. she leaves for ny on july 8th from oakland to work in the hamptons with a vanity fair writer 'till september, then she'll probably go in with mtv after that. just got off the phone with my brother too, he's looking forward to me coming up (awwww) and we were talkin' about all that shit we're getting into and where we're trying to go. he's always been supportive of what i end up doing, whether it be going to columbia instead of MIT (his alma mater) or working as a cashier at UH bookstore (truth!) instead of trying to get a real job this summer. he's also lookin' forward to takin' me snowboarding :) booyah! brother with a car, and money, i love it. i'll invite peeps if there's room, no worries.

alright, i'm gonna go get my ass handed to me....with sand in the crack. there's a reason they call it sandy's.

ass crack

mess with the red bull, and you get the wings

so i was kinda curious and decided to start reading about red bull. of course a good place to start is redbull.com but that site's kinda useless.....cute...but useless. i actually wrote them an email asking if there were some way i could get it cheaper if i buy large quantities. i'll keep you posted on how that goes ; ) i'm gonna have a redbull and vodka party if it works out. i also found some weird online liquor store selling a case of redbull and a bottle of smirnoff for 34 pounds...i don't know what that is in bucks, but i think it's still close, and a bottle of smirnoff is usually like fifteen bucks i think, and there's 24 cans in a case....so i think that's a pretty fuckin' good deal. too bad i'm at home right now *shrugs*.

either way, there was a little scare a little while ago when three dead guys were found (on seperate occasions) dead after recently drinking redbull. the details were sketchy and ultimately death-by-red-bull was ruled out. there was another article about the 'dehydrating effects' of a redbull and vodka. there was no mention of the dehydrating effects of...alcohol. or the urine-dam-busting power of an 8.3oz. shot of caffeine. i love news. ass holes. they're lucky there are so many stupid people in the world to buy their bullshit and not think for themselves. i hate that shit.

either way, i haven't been drinking much red bull lately (lately being this past YEAR) 'cause it really is just expensive. i've just been drinking lots of coffee since a 5 dollar pound of coffee and a free coffee machine (thanks austin) meant all the caffeine i needed for the rest of the year. i do love redbull though, 'cause it tastes like liquid nerds...and it's great to wash skittles down. some of my best nights were started with a redbull and vodka 'cause the vodka seems to just shoot all that caffeine straight to your fuckin' head man. SWEET. i usually seem to forget to drink water anyway in the course of a drinking night, so fuck any comments i'd have on that. it just keeps me up a long time : ) i remember this one time at a party up at christian's apartment, i shared a can of redbull with kix (w/ vodka) and she left early with all the other wimpy girls while i stayed and christian, billbert, lightshow and i saw the sun rise on the roof. later the next day makiko IM's me that she came back, everyone went to sleep, and she was up all night....alone.....in her room...watching the sun slowly light up some brick wall out her window. poor schmuck : ) shoulda' stayed and partied. i hatechoo kicks.

given my bouts of stomach ailments i've at least decided to go a BIT easier on my stomach in these coming years. mainly, i'm planning on just drinking more water. drink a red bull....drink lots of water. drink some absynth, drink lots of water. drink a half bottle of tequila....drink lots of water. damn. i've gotta get my hands on some absynth.

i'm gonna go get some red bull before the next time i go surfing.

i'm gonna go get high on the idiot box.

words do no justice

to the amount of joy i get from hearing other people say my name *cue destiny's child*. i thought my life was complete a few hours ago, but no, i must get more mentions. people should blog more about me. really. there should be entire blog posts dripping with the bloody red streaks of my infamous name.

or i just need someone to totally rail me (anything pertaining to women is automatically null, void, and otherwise NO FAIR) and make me sick of my own shadow....

besides the shadow of my hair.

i love shadows of my hair.

complete

is my life, now that "burn it off" comes up as the first, last, and therefore ONLY google result for "swanky frankies"

i rule.

not the flu

no, i don't have the flu...i don't know what the fuck i have, but, i have discovered the secret to my scrawny physique. if you'd rather not hear about my various stomach illnesses or otherwise nasty weight loss plans, stop reading.









still here (i wonder if anyone actually leaves after disclaimers like that....i mean seriously, with that kind of intro and nobody to see you scroll down...who could resist?)?

either way, i've had some very odd illnesses in my time...and a few of them have taken a lot of my weight. now..may not seem like a bad thing, but when you're 5'9" and 145 lbs....a 'little weight' could be a bad thing.

first encounter (in memorable history and of mentionable significance.....it was maybe a week or two before i left for college, freshmen year. orientation to be exact....either way, i caught mono *shrugs*. before you ponder it too much, i hadn't kissed anyone in QUITE a while by that time, so i have no idea where i got it. either way, within that week i lost TEN POUNDS...in one week. i just calculated it out, and i think i weighed about 135 before that, so i went down to 125....roughly losing 7.4% of my body mass...not a good thing. i was still pretty sick when i went to school, but mostly just recovering, i wasn't still sick. it wasn't that i had some sort of weird stomach ailment or anything, but seriously, i just wasn't awake enough of the time to actually EAT. there's no way to get three meals a day when you're sleeping for like, sixteen hours straight. when my brother got it he slept 22 hours straight once...with just some pee breaks and water i think. so yeah, if you happened to meet me that early in my colelge career....do you remember how skinny i was then? i doubt it.

second occurance was sometime sophomore year, the week before a cold mother fuckin' delaware tournament to be exact (you'll see why i remember that in a bit). either way, it was in the middle of midterms or something....and i got some NASTY stomach disease that turned anything i ate into a ball of fiery pain. my poop was black which i'm vaguely certain is an indication that i'm digesting my blood (meaning something in there is bleeding....) but i seriously had NO time to go to health services and spend three hours waiting to see a doctor who'll give me tums. so i opted to curl up in a ball of pain every night after studying my ass off, in pain, and sleep it off, only to repeat it the next day. when even water made my stomach hurt, i just stopped putting things in my mouth except my toothbrush.
this time, in less than a week i lost ten pounds again. i think by this time i was up to at least 140, so ten pounds would be 7.1% of my bodymass. i happened to get better the DAY BEFORE the two day tournament that weekend at delaware, i wake up, i still feel fine, i'd eaten, i'd slept, i pooped brown, i went to play.
i played a good amount on the first day, not much energy but i never really have much energy at a tournament since i never seem to sleep before them....either way, the second day was where i had a weird problem.....i woke up the next morning and my feet were two big appendages of RASH. yeah, my feet...were rashes....it hurt like a motherfucker. so my solution? bitch at gil for yelling at me when i didn't run with the team 'cause i was busy taping up my feet in their entirety. the worst rash was on my ankle so i taked that shit up completely felt like a mummy from the knee down 'cause i could barely flex my ankle...but i could run fine somehow. played the day...felt like my feet were gonna lose about three layers of skin (we do only HAVE three layers right?) and was reminded of what a masochistic bastard i am.

third on the list, making up the WORST 12 hours of my life, and possibly relating to more crap a day later, was after the superbowl party at drew's place. there was a SHITLOAD of food, we ate a lot. i only drank like, half a beer 'cause my stomach was feeling 'funny'. decided not to drink on such a heavy stomach. either way, i start getting mildly nauseous and i just think i ate too much. i leave a bit earlier than i usually would with christian, walked with him to his place in the snow, and caught a bus home. i thought i was gonna puke on the bus, but managed to hold it in. i got off on riverside park, thought i should just puke on a tree or something so i wouldn't have to worry about it, but decided to get home and try and get to bed....either way, i'm so nauseous at this point i can't sleep and so i go online and start reading about the norwalk virus that i'd been reading about in the news (and from christian's first hand experience). if anything read the fifth paragraph of that link. either way, i spent like ten hours puking my guts out with such VIOLENT stomach convulsions that i was really afraid of breaking my back again. no joke, i was scared. what a story that woulda' made.....
either way, i was puking water after a while 'cause i just had NOTHING in my stomach....but i did eventually get to sleep. the next day, however, karen had booked a bunch of us (liu, austin, rachel, kix, i think) for restaurant week at a swedish restaurant called 'aquavit'. somewhere near the beginning of the meal some peeps on the table noticed me getting a bit red. by the entree i was noticably red, sweating a little, and i was feeling it but still ignoring it. by the time dessert came all i could do was taste it 'cause i felt like just a pat on the tummy would make me puke....and then i started getting hives all over my face and hands. i went to the bathroom and checked my chest and arms and it was starting there too. i was about to just go home but they decided to come with me so we made a quick exit as i attempted not to puke in a pretty restaurant, got home, took of my shirt and was COVERED with hives...ugh....i felt like shit. i decided to just sleep it off though, and i was fine when i woke up a few hours later for a party at tricia's which is one of the few parties i've EVERY been to that i didn't drink. yeah...that was an interesting couple'a days. come to think of it, i don't think my stomahc's really been the same ever since....

and the last bout with my stomach...today. yesterday at dinner i wasn't very hungry when my dad served dinner, but i ate as much as i could anyway. there was no reason for me to not be hungry, but i was extremely tried and achy. i thought i caught my sister's flu-like cold. i slept. woke up this morning with explosive dirrhea though. k maybe not explosive, but i had the runs, and still have the runs (14 hours later). my mom's worried about me getting dehydrated and i can't eat much....i feel like shit still. i went to lunch with my aunty and sister...aunty lilly bought lunch so i ate what i could. at one point when we were waiting for our food though, according to my sister i turned green, and after feeling my forehead said i was ice cold and sweating. i made my way back to the table, almost fainiting along the way but hiding it from my aunty so she wouldn't worry....i felt better after sitting down. when we got in the car afterwards, though, i burned up with a fever and slep the entire way home....*shrugs* weird shit.

hope i feel better tomorrow.

let's do lunch ;) i'm sure none of you ever want to disregard any more of my disclaimers now, heh heh

flu?

today

my day:

woke up, did some chores (mostly fixing shit)
went surfing
got pounded
met up with my parents and sis
watched a free movie on the beach on an outdoor projector screen (two weeks notice...not a great movie)
ate lotsa dinner
saw two shooting stars

good day, wouldn't you say?

hamburger steak

2 dreams posted on the Dream Blob

caption me!!!!

panopticon by cell phone

this article on boing boing talks about using phonecams on some of the new cell phones could be a great tool in journalism and, what got me thinking, in documenting 'wrongdoing'. i think that's a very interesting thought...i mean, if everyone had one of these things, i think it would be much more difficult for 'wrongdoers' to 'wrongdo'. that's an intersting, word, wrongdo.....

well back to the point. the 'all seeing eye' is pretty much the basis of the panopticon....making everyone think they are being watched...always. i still have to read foucalt a little better but i was having an argument with drew about some of the specifics. mainly, he thought that the 'all seeing eye' had to be one, solitary, higher power, or at least a 'government' of sorts but one which was not subject to the panopticon. that was the original basis of the prison style panopticon, i'm sure, but i'm almost certain that foucault pushed it further expressing that all you need is for people to feel watched. he even suggested that the prison tower in the middle be open to the public so that the inmates would never know exactly 'who' was watching....and they could be wackin' off in front of a preist or a twelve year old or something.

so back to the cell phones....how many court cases do we hear about some lawyer hacking away at a witness and therefore putting a rapist or a j-walker back on the streets? what if every witness had pictures to show exactly what he/she saw? i think that would dramatically increase the certainty of many of their testimonies, expediate convictions, and get these shits of the street; thereby teaching all other would-be-asses that "someone is watching" and maybe they'll think twice about taking that snickers bar from a little blonde girl with pig tails.

yeah i still hate cell phones....but i like pictures....hmmm....

snickers

bored

i wonder how i can be so hungry for a warm body to hold on to, and yet so reluctant to start anything. i'll save the sap talk tonight, but just thought i'd mention it. i was having a talk with my sister about how hard it is to break up with someone sometimes....

i'm curious to see what next year will be like for a number of reasons. for one, it'll be a year with three of my best friends at columbia. we'll all be twenty one. we'll all be seniors....yowsa. i'm going to be working more next year (for money) so hopefully that'll open the door for a bit of financial progress for me (this summer sure isn't gonna do it), my sister will be in the city along with brad, her boyfriend (he's a cool guy, fun to hang out with), my brother will be about an hour away in princeton, NJ....he's taking up snowboarding....and he has a car : ) oh baby baby, we're hittin' that shit HARD.

what else...i dunno. new class of freshmen girls! yeah, like that'll make a difference. in case you don't follow, i have an aversion to younger girls (sorry girlies). mostly it has to do with me feeling like i'm taking advantage of them *shrugs*. wouldn't want an unfair advantage now would i.

i spend a lotta time alone when i'm in hawaii. i stay up late, i surf alone, i get a lottta time to think about shit...even more than i do at school since i'm never really stressed about anything (i might have a job coming soon). this is why i left hawaii in the first place : ) i get really lazy and fall into that kind of stagnant crapulence forcing me to overthink all these rhetorical questions i have going through my head....

i should keep more duct tape around.

swell

so that huge south swell hit today, it was HUGE. i opted not to go out 'cause my body's in pain (especially my feet) and i didn't feel like nearly dying today. i did see three ambulences today...i'm wondering if that was for stupid tourists at the beach...

maybe tomorrow, it'll still be kinda big, and i'll hopefully have healed at least a little bit.

mush

holy

SHIT isopropyl (rubbing alcohol) hurts like a MOTHER FUCKER. haha. iv'e mentioned being a mild masochist...mostly in the head but i have my moments. i was talking to my parents about how hydrogen peroxide does indeed hurt less (before it was used the chief disinfectants were iodine and isopropyl, iodine hurt even more apparently) but unfortunately it destroys some tissue in the process, something iodine and isopropyl DON'T do. so, i thought i'd help my body out a bit and take one for the team...but oh DAMN that shit hurts. the worst is the open blisters on my feet....god, it hurt so much i laughed....you HAVE to try it!

but yeah, i'm all patched up now, isopropyl, ointment, and bandaids....ahhh. i should just use duct tape.

i was bleeding all over the shower too...the warm water opened up my toe again i think....

*glug glug*

so much pain

so after surfing i came home, did errands and shit, and went back out to play ultimate......when i got there i realized something very disheartening....i had no socks. so, for love of the game, and sheer stupidity, i played without socks in my three year old BUSTED ASS cleats for two hours. jesus my feet hurt by the end of that..and jesus my feet hurt now...on top of a few sliced toes from a fight i lost with the reef while surfing (mentioned before).

but hell, it was good fun. i even got invited to a one day tourney 'cause someone needed peeps for a team *shrugs*. i guess they like my playing at least that much.

poi and lomi salmon...with poke and a beer. some kalua pig and this may have been the greatest meal of my life (given the situation of course...tired, hungry, dead)

surf lesson day 5

...jesus i suck.

so today, the day before this swell peaks, waikiki was pretty big so i went out after four hours of sleep and dropping my dad off at work. there were so many people out there..ugh. i really didn't catch ANYTHING worth noting 'cause (for all you non-surfers out there) longboarders can paddle a lot faster than short boarders so they can get on a wave faster. i, on the short board, have to wait until the wave's almost breaking to catch it so most of the waves i 'could' catch have already been caught by some longboarder....meh. but yeah, got lots of duck diving practice (diving under already-broken waves). sliced my toe pretty well on some reef and smacked my face really hard on my board 'cause i dove under a big wave and my hand slipped off so *thunk*, bloody lip and a numb nose/lip/chin area. i don't think it swelled but the inside of my lip (sliced on my teeth) will inevitably get infected...as usual.....fuck.

i'm debating whether or not to just take my bodyboard out tomorrow since it'll be even bigger.

do not go quietly into that good night
rage rage against the dying of the light

i'm such a stubborn idiot :) i need a fuckin' nap...and a job...and a vet's appointment.

peace

surf lesson day 4

diamond head again, some 3+ ft. waves. good fun! i was gettin' my ass kicked on some of 'em. i did, however, manage to stand up on a few:

waves caught (clean): 3
waves caught (ugly/partial):5?
hot surfer girls: 1
hot surfer girls who could surf better than me: 1

i still can't turn though...workin' on that one. still feeling better about it everytime i go out.

i did, however, realize that the board i'm using (not to try and blame it on something else) is MUCH smaller than the boards other people are using out there. both narrow and short. that makes balancing and just catching the waves a lot harder. yeah, i'll stop being a pussy. I'IM GOING TO DO THIS!!!

in other news
i've been getting lotsa mentions in other blogs :) i feel so special now. i should talk about people's blog's more often!

am i shallow?

kerplunk

kiks

wanted to comment on something kix said in her blog...now that she finally fuckin' blogged. 2/3 of the last were useless though ;)

either way, it's kind of interesting to finally hear her talk about what SHE's interested instead of being so concerned about other people like she usually is (such a sweetie). but yeah, she's all fuckin' self-conscious about people not wanting to hear about her life, it's funny :) mostly 'cause of how i handle my blob i think. balls to the wall kicks! haha. keep bloggin' kix! yeah like she'll listen to me. not even sure if she's still reading this *shrugs*

while i'm at it (and wide awake for some fucked up reason (six hours of broken sleep last night....) ill write some partials on peoples' blogs. i used to not read blogs at all. not 'cause i didn't want to read them, but because i absolutely hated it when people would post links on their profiles and away messages...including the blogs. i eventually got over it and started reading blogs (but i still RARELY click other links unless someone specifically asks me to)...i think starting with drew's. he used to blog a lot but lately (past few months) he "claims" to be too busy to blog (i'm just kidding drew ;)...but he usually puts philosophies and daily musings on his blog. often very technical, often related to what he's studying at the time (he just finished his masters program, but he's still gonna take a few more classes i think), but very thought provoking. if i had more capacity to actually get back into the mindset i had in contemporary civilizations (cc, a philosophy class) i might be able to have more intelligent conversations with him on it, but usually we end up talking about being drunk or something :) sometimes i don't know why these old dudes hang around me, but thanks duders ;)

i guess christian (c-sparls) would be next since that's one of the few other blog's linked on drew's. christian likes to blog about all the cool shit he does from time to time :) also, a lot less active than he used to be, but still, he leads an interesting life. what with teaching elementary school in the southern bronx, his other band 'hello nurse' making waves in the music scene, and generally being a cool motherfucker.

stoops was always a reader of my subprofile way back when, so maybe his was next....stoops complains too much :) i'm kidding. stoops also used to be more active...for a little while he was even blogging an 'onion' type fake-news blog daily. that was fun, but eventually he ran out of gas and time. his is kind of like mine...without all the gibberish...which means it's kind of a daily news breif of his life when he blogs. he also needs to learn how to deal with women :)

i was reading lawrence's for a while but the dude's seriously in wang world. likes to talk about news and books and movies and such turning it into some deep philosophical discussion i'd rather not try and understand. me and some others decided that the rest of the world is better off leaving wang in wang world :) if you feel like trying to figure the dude out, though, go for it.

jailbait (mike liu) stopped blogging for a while. he apparently had his for a while on xanga but i didn't know it was there, then he tried to start a secret one but then he fucked that up too, and now (this summer) he finally ditched xanga for a blogspot (good call) and actually blogs every few days or so. usually just a daily recount, cool/exciting things that've happened in the day, or how much he hates his job even though he's getting free fucking housing, damn him. but yeah, he gets into some cool shit sometimes. if you like pool, he'd be the guy to talk to. he'll probably try and get you into a match but you should know that he owns a pool table at home in westchester.

sonic the hodgeheg just restarted his blog since his job require that he be paid for doing absolutely nothing productive for a lot of the day :) i'm kidding. i really have no idea how much time he wastes but he makes it sound like a lot. he goes in fartlicks. he'll stop, then he'll blog five times. mostly about video games or hanging out with trish, but he's always humerous *shrugs* makes for good reading when he sticks to it. so yeah, chang, stick to it.

in fact, all of you, blog more so i don't have to keep blogging, damnit. give me something else to do and i'll shut up :)

the muppet, also new to the community this summer, is usually blogging about being terrified of her grandfather chasing her with a hammer. she's been in the city for the past week or so being a dumb freshman girl, but when she's back at her 'summer home' she blogs almost daily i think. kind of funny but she and her sister (linked 'beccaboo' on amanda's i think) almost always blog the same 'events' that occur in a day. kind of comical...very odd family. long as their grandfather doesn't kill he with a hammer to the head her blog's as twisted as she seems to be being all quiet and malicious most of the time. that bitch....

and then there's the puffle (mara) who also started this summer. she's off in camp somewhere around washington or oregon....can't quite figure that out. apparently she has access to a computer though and she talks about how her life dream is to be a camp councelor or something.....that would be an interesting life....i mean. camping. for a living. that would be sweet...you'd like...never have to grow up! sort of. but yeah, at least this way i don't have to listen to her goddamn irritating fucking voice whenever she's around. and such is the blog :)

if i said anything bad about you people, it was probably a joke. besides this one: my blob rules you all. all of you. so work on that, i don't like to be superior. well i kind of do, but i only like getting there, not being there. i like challenges. life should be a progression.

my dad's geting up in a bit, i have to go. blog! read blogs! read my blog! comment!

yeah, i'll get nothing

maggots

standstill

updated the linkage (at left). your life suddenly has meaning again, mara.

i dunno if it's just the weekend but my summer is slowly turning into a mass of uselessness....i really get nothing productive done...ever. well, i fixed my dad's amp, and i get little shits done around the house...the surfing's going good (besides straining my tricep a little bit yesterday), but yeah....i sit around and i have no motivation to do the things that i 'feel' like i want to do, or should do, or would do if this or if that or if whatever....i dunno wtf i'm saying.

saw a really cute girl today at pier 1. me and my sis were sitting at a dining table 'cause my mom was taking forever and this girl comes by, local, hawaiian/filipino maybe but hair dyed blonde. she looked at me at least twice (i'm pretty sure it wasn't just 'cause i was staring at her) as she was going to the counter to pay for her stuff...and then on our way out, i see that she was alone in the driver's seat of a 2003 dark red corvette pulling out. me and vanessa (sis) contemplated how she found herself in the driver's seat of a vette (she was maybe mid-late 20's) and we concluded that she must get lotsa guys with that car (yeah we didn't get very far). dudes always think a hot car'll impress a girl....i guess sometimes it does (ladies?) but at the same time it seems like long-schlong insecurities (gents?). either way, on the flip side...a girl with a hot ride DEFINITELY goes up like, exponentially in my book. 'specially if she knows how to ride it.

what do YOU drive? i either drive our '96 or '98 light blue used toyota camry (with my bumpin' sound system) or our '89 toyota van (bought new, it's an oldie but goody), stick shift. the camry's automatic and i hate the transmission. i hate automatic's to begin with, but this one just blows. sstandard...mmm...love that shit. one'a these days, my plan is to buy an old beat-up camaro and learn how to fix that shit. that'll be my baby. then maybe i can pick up mah baby in mah baby and make some babies....

that's....weird. so yeah, whaddaya drive?

*booty dance*

surf lesson day #3

waves caught: 4-5
total time standing: 5 seconds....
cute surfer girls: 4
cute surfer girls who could surf better than me: 4

i'm getting a better feel for it. i went to diamond head today (instead of waikiki) which is the reason for the seeming regression in progress. diamond head is a much more powerful wave, and much more trying on the stamina type thing....also...faster when you're on the wave. i'm still trying to figure out the balance of the surfboard...it's very hard to balance on one...compared to a bodyboard where you just lie on the thing. but yeah, i'm a lot better at duck diving now so i don't get pounded trying to get out, but then yeah, once i'm out there i just kidn of bob around and look like an idiot : ) i love my life. *sigh* maybe next time (tomorrow?)

i need food.

pickled mango

yaaaawn

ehh, ended up deciding to stay home. my friends were going out to get drunk at bars and such and i'm just not really in the mood to fight with my fake. i mean...this piece of shit has only failed me like...twice and once was 'cause my friends' was even worse. it hasn't failed me yet here...but still....everytime i use it i feel like a little piece of me dies *sob*. nah, not really, icould care less but i do get a bit of anxiety whenever i hand it over. again, i'm wondering if turning twenty one will actually be all i've thought it will be. i'm really looking forward to being able to just go downtown and hit up some cooler lookin' bars and not have to worry about jailbait :) roamin' around hawaii beaches and shit i'm relearning how much i SUCK at guessing ages of girls....especially when they're all wearing bikini's :) i mean, even just af ew years ago you could kinda tell a girl's age by what she was wearing...but now....shit. they all dress like ho's. kinda weird to see like fifteen year old's decked out with makeup and high heels....for some reason i get a lotta little girls checkin' me out (quoth the sister today at ala moana)...weird. my dad tells me that my face and gait make me seem older than i am, but the simple fact that i'm a skinny, lanky, fragile lookin' dude i do look young sometimes. *shrugs*. i've at least decided that it's about time i start dressing a little better than a skater punk with no clean clothes :) despite how easy it is to dress like that, i suppose i should grow up someday and get some decent clothes. my sister approves. she always wants to dres me up so for christmas and birthdays and shit she likes dressing me up...i guess it's like the little sister she never had....heh. i've got cool clothes from both she and my brother....mostly 'cause i can't really afford them and absolutely hate shopping. maybe i should just shop like a woman once in a while and go buy a new shirt or something everytime i go out to somewhere new....then i'll start collecting some decent clothes.

that sounds like a good plan.

hey baby, wanna go shopping? i wonder if that'd work.

oh, another interesting pondering that came up with my sister. she says i should just make a business (pimp) card with my name and number on it and give it to hot girls. she was half joking...but kind of making fun of the fact that i just never talk to girls...or do more than stare at them really creepily. either way, pushed it after thinkin' for a sec...i mean...if i just gave a girl my number, then it's totally up to her whether or not to call me. i'd be taking eric's advice by keeping my mouth shut, and i'd at least be letting these girls know that i am, indeed, interested in them. if the entire world did this it could possibly make dating a lot easier. you always here that it's that "first step" that's always the hardest and once you get word out, good things can happen. well, for all those pussies like me who don't know how to talk to girls, or are afraid of being rejected, or afraid of awkward situations, hand out the card. that way, rejection is tacit, awkwardness is saved for the one's who actually are attracted to you, and lucky me...i mean...lucky mangina dude doesn't have to say a word to the babe.

voila!

i'll also steal drew's idea and put my blog address on it so i can thoroughly fuck myself over. 'cause i can't possibly allowed to succeed with women. i must cockblock myself to retain my dignity so i'll freak 'em out before they have a chance to call.....and THEN, only the really insane ones will call me! i like the insane ones...actually i just happen to get involved with the insane ones, i dunno if that's a good thing or not yet....

alright, i'll stop talking now, my arms are tired.

surf lesson #3 tomorrow, now beach, bigger and badder.

diamond head.

friday the thirteenth

so it's friday the thierteenth, and there's a full moon out. i was supposed to get in touch with some of my friends after dinner witda fam but he's not answering his phone. i hope they're up for some night surfing :) that would be awesome. i've done it once before with my brother and one of his friends and it was one of those divine experiences i'll hopefully remember for the rest of my life. i had a huge motherfuckin' dinner though. ate some of everyone's *shrugs*. as always, i'm one of those human garbage disposals, pickin' at everyone else's food and finishing mine to boot. fun fun. *pats tummy* perhaps i'll have to rest a lil' bit before i try and surf.

i was actuall ythinking of stayin ghome and just relaxing tonight...but i stopped at a lookout w/ my sis on the south sea cliffs to see the moon on the water and it kinda woke me up. i guess i just have to stay up long enough and i'll be perfectly fine....ahh...insomnia, it has it's uses.

i'm gonna go pat my tummy s'more

mmm...hamburger steak

papaya

my breakfasts here usually consist of some sort of tropical fruit.

fresh.

i love this fucking place.

mango

2000

i broke 2000 baby, by a longshot too. got my highest hit count yet today...and i haven't even been posting.....and, ironic still...mostly because of gollum.

the internet is such an intersting thing...i'd ponder into it more, but right now i'm still buzzed from like...thirteen hours ago (it's been a long...wonderful day) and i wanna get to sleep before the smell of my dad's coffee gets to me (it's 2:01am right now).

i'll blob more later, don't take the past few days as an insight into my future in the summer blob, please, keep coming back!

mara, sorry, haven't updated the template yet, gotta put a few mroe up actually.....and yo didn't blog for quite a while, i gave up checking it, are you bloggin agin?

peace

i fucking rule!

so remember that bass amp i told you i was fixing yesterday? well, i FUCKING FIXED IT. that fuckin' thing's been broken for like seven years or something godawful like that. it's a 400 watt peavy head with a single 12" cabinet and...now that it works...i know...it's pimpin'.

it took a day and maybe....six or seven hours total, but i started from the front and just started following the circuit all the way along the line finding something that didn't seem right. turns out there was a quad opamp chip that was busted so i googled that shit, found the pinout, went to radioshack and found a similar one (probably not quite as good quality) and tried it out. $1.76 and i am the fucking man. you have no idea how proud of myself i am right now. despite kowing so much shit about electronics...we learn very little about practical shit. as i've said before...i think. it's just such a great feeling to apply all this shit i'm learning to actually be useful, and save possibly a hundred dollars or more to pay someone to fix it.

too bad i don't even play bass....

oh well.

on another note

that last post has kind of...twisted itself. it's kind of ironic but i wrote that post because of all the hits i was getting from that post about gollum's acceptence speech. it made me think about what people search for and i thought of all the would-be-porn hits that i keep getting. so i wrote that list of shit to see what would hit...i check it and i have a shitload of hits today...and i'm like...hah...i'm funny. instead, though, i tturns out that they were still checking on gollum's acceptance speech...and tatu's lesbian antics on stage...again. (those schoolgirls were really hot).

ehh, test failed. just like my poll over there
<<<<<<<<<<<

i hate you all :)

mango margarita

a small test of the stupidity of the united states

porn pornography exotica erotica fuck sex pussy whip dick suck blowjob teen bondage blonde brunette asian lesbian gay hardcore kobe thai silvia saint pamela anderson cock slut naked anna kournikova cindy margolis christina aguilera brittney spears celebrities free live uncensored

*takes deep breath* whew!

suckers

did i miss anything?

counter (nedstat, the little graph symbol at the bottom) says 1925, let's see if i can hit 2000 ;)

benoit balls!

holy shit! my site came up as the first hit on a search for "benoit balls"...if you know what benoit balls are email 'cause apparently they're hard to find on google :)

if you don't, don't ask.

my site also came up on a search for "lesbians kiss". i love how all my search hits come from would-be porn hits...*shrugs*. i also love how they take things WAY out of context and it pops up in google. i mean, yeah i talk about asses and kissing and lesbians and all kinds of shit...but usually not in any sort of sexual way (even moreso...almost anti-sexual...for example...naked skinny dipping? ahh? seeeeeexxy).

alright, back to fuckin' around

yoda

more bass

so i decided today that i'm going to try and fix my dad's peavy bass amp. it's a powerhouse, and we have a single 12" speaker cabinet...yeah, it's a great amp....but it doesn't work. when you turn it on it hums for a bit, goes quiet, and doesn't work. the lights are a bit funky too...i opened it up and there's all kinds of roach eggs and spider webs and shit..and some things that're corroding. i'm hoping it's just a corrosion thing so i'm about to start resoldering some of the connections that don't look too good and scraping any rust that could bridge a connection and short it. *shrugs* i realize that with all the shit i know about electronics, so much of it is theoretical and generally fucked up. i know so little about practical electronics that it's kind of disheartening. i would REALLY like to learn how to fix things so that i can actually start applying what i know. i suppose with a detailed schematic w/ explanations, a signal generator, and an oscilliscope i could do a bit more with this...but yeah. kinda hard to come by.

i'm a bit tempted to try just calling up electronics repair shops and seeing if they need a hand around the place, and hopefully teach me shit. i'm just kind of timid. i realize that a lot with all this job hunting shit..i'm very timid. i think about going up to these people and asking for their money and i'm just like...shit...what're they going to think of me? i feel so useless a lot of the time like...all these jobs that i WOULD enjoy doing and learning...i just feel like i'd go there and be like..yeah i know nothing but you wanna gimme your money so you can teach me how to do it? but such is life...i suppose. one reason i kind of want to go to grad school....to really just go overboard and learn this shit like...like....like it's my job....

i also considered getting an electrician's licence...i wonder how hard that is....

aight, lunch, then some soldering, i'm out

tuna

baby oil

funniest shit i've ever seen (in the general sense), i was rolling.

so this big two inch cockroach comes crawlin' across the living room floor (not too uncommon in hawaii, before you freak out...i've known many mainlanders to be totally freaked out by roaches *shrugs*) and i was giving my mom a massage and told her to kill it. so she grabs this old bottle of baby oil that was sitting on the coffee table...so old that the plastic was kind of brittle....and smashes the roach with it.

the bottle (3/4 full) EXPLODES and the plastic crumbles to pieces pouring baby oil all over the carpet and one dead ass roach :)

i was rolling, she kept telling me to shut up. it was great.

on another note

surf lessons day 2:

waves caught (clean rides): maybe 5
total time up: a good amount, not worth counting anymore
runaway longboards that almost bludgeoned my head open: 2 (fuckin' tourists)
hot surfer girls: 4
hot surfer girls that talked to me: 0
hot surfer girls who surf better than me: 4
nipples about to fall off: 0

it was a good day :) i spent like four hours out there eating it on waves, getting pounded by waves, but got some good rides iin there. turns out i might be able to surf after all :) i had no idea what time it was so i asked, promptly freaked out (i only put three hours in the parking meter) and went back in. no ticket though....sweetness.

i can't go out tomorrow 'cause...i can't really lift my arms. i'll go play pickup though. my legs are fine.

and in response to spoots' comments....yeah, this morning i got up at six am and took my dad to work (after going to sleep at two am) and went to the beach after that, and the above followed. i got a nap around five or so, so i feel pretty good now. i'll find some crap tv tto waste my time on though, heh heh.

mmm..scully

pub

went to an irish pub with guy and a real old friend, autumn. the waitress i think knew my id was fake but guy and autumn are both twenty one so she didn't care. we had a few pints of killians and listened to some celtic music (live, drum, harp, flute/penny whistle, two guitars and a mandolin). it was really nice, and nice to catchup with autumn. moani was with us too (the most tangible ghost of mine) later, but she's even younger than me so she was wandering around waikiki for most of the time we were there. we eventually went to daiei to get some beer and went up to autumn's apartment to chill more. i miss just...chilling.

nobody at columbia really seems to like chilling anymore. i remember a time when there was almost ALWAYS someone at amcaff...weekday or whatever, just to chill and have a few beers. now nobody comes out unless there's "something going on" or lots of people coming out or blah blah blah. and then they go to sleep even when there is a party.

what happened to the chillage! shite.

i'm out

guinness

chang

so chang started blogging again..at least for a day i think. also linked at left (sonic). go read, i'm mentioned...twice....once in reference to my "creepy diary". haha. never thought it'd come off that way, but oh well. i guess i can rock that.

my parents managed to get my ass up at like seven am this morning and we went to the swap meet (flea market) at aloha stadium. good fun. i was looking at surfboards and random tools and all kinds of other shit people thought they could sell instead of throw away. i love shit like that :) didn't buy anything but had fun nonetheless. we went to thes tore, ate lunch, and everything, and were back home before noon....insane. i don't know why i'm still awake but i'm going back out to a pub with some friends to watch some irish music and then go watcha movie on the beach. yeah, the city setup a movie projector on the beach...every saturday and sunday they show movies at dusk with some music or other performances before. god i love this place. and it's free! so that's tonight. since i got home i've mostly been job hunting. temping for clerical/data entry shit seems to be my best choice so that i'll have weird hours and time to fit in more surfing-type adventures....oh my. my rash is healing though, maybe i'll go out tomorrow.

and kiks...blog, damnit.

costco hotdogs...

gollum

holy shit, i'm watching the mtv movie awards and i just saw gollum's acceptance speech (and that other dude, i forgot his real name) and it was fuckin' HILARIOUS. the award was for best animated character or something...and the fuckin' psycho gollum just starts cursing at EVERYONE. fuck this, fuck that, you fuckers i hate you all you bastards you blah blah blah, it was GREAT! it was in the animation studio where the real dude was talking but gollum runs up and takes the popcorn and goes off, i was rolling!

at the end of it the shoot goes to elijah wood in the audience who says (i lip read) "that was fucking AWEsome" to someone next to him.

i was wondering who would think it was a bit much, but i thought it was fucking great, i was totally surprised, and what more is entertainment?


after that TATU comes on doing "you're not going to get us" or whatever that is in russian...and those two fuckin' girls come on with like, two hundred CUTE fuckin' teenage girls (all coming in pairs) in schoolgirl uniforms...and halfway through all two hundred of them take their skirts off and start makin' out by the end (or at least looking like they're makin' out)....okay maybe it wasn't two hundred but the rest was all true. and it was hot. and i fucking hate them for teasing me.

on another note, if any of you remember a post i wrote about TATU, i mentioned that i thought it was fuckin' great that they were making all this money off being lesbians on national tv in the US, and i read in some interview or something that they're not even lesbians! well, not really. i think that brunnette girl said something stupid like "we don't want to call ourselves lebians or even bisexuals, we just are who we are" blah blah blah which i thought was even MORE spectacular! they're TOTALLY tooling all these poor lonely computer jockies by posing as lesbians now :) i love america, stupid motherfuckers, haha.

more power to them.

on the other hand...i'll have to admit that i do kind of like a few of their songs. even if a lot of the things i like about them are synth'd and probably not even written by them...there are parts of some of them that i do like. and they're like 18, not 15 like i originally thought so i don't have to worry about feeling like a cradle robber :) always a plus.

i have yet to be with a girl younger than i...(i mean 'be with' in even the most g-rated nature you can think of)

this turned out long...

benoit balls

burn

day one surfing:

waves caught: 3
total time spent standing up on the board: 1 second.

this is going to be difficult...i also have the board rash from hell...i think my nipple is going to fall off.

jumbo jack

hikey

i went hiking today with guy up manoa falls, connecting to the auwohi trai, or something of that sort, and then connecting to the pauoa flats trail. it was really nice. we came out at the top0 eof the pauoa flats trail on top of the south ridge of nu`uanu valley. weather's been kind of overcast lately so it was even pretty cool. humid as fuck so we were sweating like pigs, but pretty cool. we went at a really fast pace so it was quite a workout, good stuff. my legs feel pretty stretched.

i also got that surfboard from charise, guy's sister, last night after going to the see bruce almighty with he and moani, so me and guy are going to waikiki to go surfing. the surf's supposed to be up, so waikiki should be at least a bit more than the ripple it usually is : )

good day. i'm sweaty as fuck but my mom gave me a beer before i could get to the shower...i'm not really complaining.

i'm still waiting on my transcript so i can apply to this job, but if it doesn't come through before then, i think i'm gonna apply to blockbuster on monday : ) hah. blockbuster.

popcorn

comments

thanks to spoots for notifying me of the reopening of haloscan registrations, i now have comments again. so, comment if you wanna comment on specific shit, or use the message board for more general things. i imagine now i'll just get...nothing on the messageboard but hey, maybe i'll be proven wrong.

thanks spoots, and blame matt for the absynthe dude, i take no responsibility for that.

and i'm quite impressed you actually read through my backblob....thanks ;) i appreciate it

and sai doesn't think i can necessarily own my virginity, what do you think?

i told her to kiss my ass

"just like three bags of poi, you feel me with joy, you're my island wooomaaaan"

poi and lomi salmon...mmm....

surf

there's a big swell comin' in on thursday :) good thing i have no job yet.....

wait.

oh well...i guess i can still enjoy it ;)

today i was almost entirely useless...doing a few chores before pickup (good shit) and then coming home with dinner from yummies (korean bbq...hawaiian style)...besides a good like, two hour long argument/conversation with my mom abooooouuut...hmm. life? talking a lot about my older sister and some of the things that went on between her and my mom. a good conversation. i realized in the middle of it that i don't remember the last time my mom's told me "no" i can't do something. my parents rarely tell me to do anything, or rarely press their opinions on me unless i ask for them. it's left me very open minded and free to make my own decisions, but in return i respect everything they say and one reason they rarely (or now, simply don't) have to tell me "no" is because they agree with most everything i do *shrugs*. i don't exactly hide much from them...they know i drink a lot. they know i play ultimate with a broken back. they know i party 'till dawn when i can. they know i've gotten naked for a laugh....i suppose they'd even be glad to hear that i still haven't tried any drugs ('sides abusing the occasional perscription ; ) and am, to this day, two months before my 21st birthday, the proud owner of my own virginity.

i wonder who'll still be surprised by that...*shrugs*

balls out

lindsay

i just dream blobbed a dream about lindsay i had last night....weeee. if you don't feel like reading it, basically, she hit on me, we ended up makin' out, i ASKED myself in the dream if it was real, "realized" that it really was happening, told her that, and resumed. subconscious is a scary devil...

i felt like i'd found something i'd lost years ago.

for those of you who haven't followed my blob since the beginning of time, lindsay was my first girlfriend, my senior year in high school. i'd been in love with her since eighth grade and our last year together, she finally went for me. it lasted three months, somehow. amazing considering it was riddled with anxiety and miscommunications. we never even made out....she gave me ample opportunity but i'd never kissed a girl before, everytime i had a chance i'd think too much before the opportunity had passed. she wasn't in the mood to being the most patient girl in the world for me, and i smothered her with everything else....so she dumped me.

regardless...everytime i blob about lindsay i wonder to myself if it'll be for the last time. she's not really a part of my life anymore and every time i TRY and bury her, something comes up. for example, at least THREE TIMES (not exaggerating at all) i've deleted her from my buddylist...and she inevitably IM's me THEN to get no away message and realizes that i've taken her off....at which point she (playfully) scolds me. then there was yale cup...i never know when/where tourneys are but when i heard about yale cup (probably a week before it was) i immediately thought of her, and IM'd her to see if she wanted to meet up, and she wanted to try even though she'd be busy....and i forgot her phone number in the dorm so i couldn't call when we were there...oops. i apologized later and we talked a bit, but that was it.

aaaand so i come home...i see her at kaipo's party and feel (try to feel?) nothing....so i figure THIS time...it's over in my head. and then my subconscious saves the day to strike me again with a stake through the heart.

everytime.....i hope it'll be the last

fuckin' women

from the crapmachine (either christian or drew came up with that name, not sure which):

asianmarga rita: awhhhhhhhh
asianmarga rita: i swear you sound like a girl
asianmarga rita: *grins* in your blogs
asianmarga rita: MAN you write alot!
asianmarga rita: :-) not that it's bad
asianmarga rita: its just funny how much actually goes in through your head
asianmarga rita: :-)

asianmarga rita: but yah I thought it'd be funny to call you a girl
asianmarga rita: :-)
asianmarga rita: teeeeee heee hehehehe

monkey brains

light

i was at the beach across noon today (went early in the morning to drop my dad off at work) and something about the sun being directly overhead made the water look aMAZING when a wave would come. there's no wind today so it made deep contrasts in these huge ripples that just amde the ocean look like a huge piece of travelling glass.

so pretty : )

veitnamese

bbq

had a bbq at my friend kaipo's house in kahala. good fun, good food, good friends, shitty beer. always a nice time :) it was nice to see everyone for the first time since christmas (some even longer) and chat and make fun...and just sit around and be haaawaiian. heh. lindsay showed up for a bit too, lookin' good, unfortunately. i ddin't feel TOO much seeing her...but then again i didn't really make any effort to talk with her still. just sat around and did my own thing and she did hers...it's weird. i was in love with lindsay in the first place 'cause she was one of the few people i could talk to about all the crazy things that go on in my head without just talking to dead ears. she was actually interested in talking about all the twisted philosophies and shit i had on life and she always had her own takes on things. just one of those people i could pour my mind out as it was and make conversation with instead of sitting around trying to think of something interesting to say. *shrugs* and now it's only kisses on the cheek...she was having a conversation about school with another friend of ours (kyle) and tapped me in to ask how finals were, and we talked a bit about it....blah blah, meh, and that was about it for the two of us conversing. i suck :)

and she's a ghost.

enough about women, i had a nice time. earlier in the day i was looking through the classifides for jobs. my new thought? valet driver :) how cool would that be to drive all these cool cars and shit? i think it'd be fun...and probably night work too so i could go to the beach. i've secured a bored, and my friend said he can fix it up for me...so surfing should commence pretty soon, woohoo! i'm gonna absolutely suck, but it should be fun, nonetheless.

poke