seemingly so

so, as i always knew, there's nothing to do in hawai`i at night *shrugs*. mostly when you're not twenty one at least. i could say i "really can't wait" and "i'm gonna go fuckin' nuts" but after i've been drinking so long, and lately haven't even been drinking that much, i dunno if it's gonna be all i've expected for the past....five? six years? hah. we'll see (july 27th for all interested in trying to fuck me up like most people do on my birthdays...fuckers....last year was awesome : ) hmm...maybe i should talk about last year. i was in new york last summer and ON my birthday, there was some hat tourney or something so all the ultimate peeps were gone so i'd told my sister i wasn't really planning on doing anything. i never really cared about birthdays...thinking back....i don't really remember my childhood birthday parties. i stopped having them real young...i was a really happy kid...but 'reclused' (is that a word?) at some point...not sure when that was. wasn't really interetsed in other people.

nevermind, i've talked about this before, i won't start again. so last year, on my brithday, my cousin was randomly in town so me and my sister had dinner with her, her fiance, and HIS older sister (who my brother may or may not be after...heh heh...weird). after dinner, we head to amcaff where, much to my surprise, christian, drew, nick and yang are there waiting for me at my sister's invitation. that was very nice of her, and a nice surprise :) we had a nice time, just chillin', drinkin', talkin'. the next tuesday night, however, all the ultimate peeps heard it was my birthday and decided to take me to the west end. ....i got really trashed but i remember rachel, karen, duke, corey, penny, marissa...um...yeah i was pretty trashed. duke started off the craziness with a ROUND of shots (he bought like twelve, so i forgot a lot of people), oh makiko was there, so yeah, we had lots of ROUNDS of tequila. people kept buying me shit. we did a lot of rounds of tequila body shots (fun shit...i keep forgetting to get those started at parties)....and yeah, i was TRASHED. at some point i left like a four minute message on my sister's cell phone that i don't remember...halfway through which i tell the voicemail, 'hold on' and i chase someone around the bar....so i'm told. then we play footsie because i had no shoes that day (i arrived on campus with rollerblades) and went home with corey's slippers, corey went home with rachel's funky shoes....or something or other. they gave me $8 for a cab (i had it clenched in my fist like my life depended on it) i caught one going the wrong way, somehow managed to get my address to the dude and got home...really late.

THEN i woke up THREE HOURS LATER and went to work for the day. i got there still drunk, but that faded and i wasn't even hungover...i felt good even! turns out most of the girls had some of the worst hangovers of their lives. kix told me a while ago that was the worst she'd ever had..i wonder if that's still true? it was a great night...and thank you all...especially the ones i dont' remember! sorry! but yeah, they were on a mission....and they accomplished it pretty well.

and on the flip side...my grad party and a party i had after my frosh year here at home started a 'tradition' of near-july 4th parties for me....which i had a number of people asking about last year. i unfortunately had to tell them that i had no ticket home that year, and another friend kaipo kauka took over the duty...i'm still wondering if i should start that up again. got a friend in maui who already said he'd fly back for it ;) one thing about my parties, get ono kine grinds....every time.

beer and milk shakes

more avenues on the path to boredom

three new blogs in about two weeks...weird. people are finaly starting to realize what a great procrastinatorial device blogging is ;)

anyway, there's the kixriot, linked left, the little muppet, and puffle #1 (makiko, amanda, and mara, respectively). go look good fun. i even got a drunk quote on amanda's :)

so i decided to stay home today. i got a BIT sunburned (going to the beach three days in a row) on a few of the "edges" 'cause i didn't put the sunscreen on my entire body. oops. not bad though, should be fine by tomorrow. i also pulled whatever tendon that is that connects my pecs (left) to my armpit. i was at diamond head yesterday and caught some HUGE waves (some of the biggest of my life) and i was jacknifing one (up on one foot and one knee) and fell off funny getting my arm going one way and my body the other...so yeah, now it hurts. i'm gonna rest it a bit. went to play pickup again too. dude, pickup after THREE HOURS bodyboarding in like 2-4 ft. surf....not a good idea. i'm just hoping that if i keep absolutely killing myself my body might adapt and get it's ass in shape...yes, i am blaming my body. haha. fun.

i'm gonna go eat now. talk to me

corned beef hash

quick dream blob, go read

almost

so i almost made it to bed, but then i remembered the five gallons of beer outside waiting for me :) my dad brewed me a german black (i helped) last christmas break and it's been curing ever since. dark beers need time to develop the right taste. i was going to try it earlier but the beer's still warm (the yeast yas to be kept awake) so i put this thermos-type cup my dad has in the freezer yesterday and just remembered it. and...the moment as come *pauses to sip beer*....

hmmm...unfortunately not as good as the first batch of this beer. we ran into a bit of a problem in that it didn't seem like the yeast was working properly when we'd brewed it...the yeast is supposed to eat the sugar and make alcohol and CO2. well...there's definitely alcohol...and there's definitely CO2 (it comes shooting out).....but there's still sugar : ( one thing i really don't like in my beer is a sweet taste (besides bass which is a honey-sweetness that works nicely with the rest of the tastes). granted the beer is still a bit warm and stinging (ever smell an afterparty?), it's pretty sweet. i hope it'll taste better colder...but DAMN there's a lot of alcohol. (side story) whenever i get cuts and such in my mouth, they tend to get infected rather easily...which is why i use a lot of listerine most of the time. well...my dad doesn't have listerine and i got hit in the face with a disc yesterday leaving a rather large tooth-cut inside my bottome lip which is getting infected....well...the beer's alcoholic enough to make it sting a bit :) AND, after two sips i'm already feeling it...amazing! i can also taste it...something i've only experienced in guiness, some other stout's, and new castle. i like that alcohol taste in heavy beers, it's a nice complement, and a testament to the fact that it's not horsepiss.

i imagine i'll sleep good tonight...also because i'm going to bed now at 3:15am (if you haven't noticed i've switched my timestamps to hawai`i time, -6hrs. from nyc time) and i'm getting up around eight or nine to go bodyboarding with or without a friend of mine who doesn't know if she has to babysit yet. last night was a very interesting sleeping night, actually. i passed out infront of the tv around this time watching some show...i forget what. i was pretty tired but i really wanted to watch it. when i woke up again at like four or something, i was just too dead to get up and go to bed, so i just laid there (i'd already brushed my teeth) adn passed out again...woke up at five...still dead. finally i woke up at 8:30am, sun up, pigeons cooing (they do that all the time around my house), sparrows chirping, myna birds...screeching. it's often a nice wake up call...although if i happen to be UP 'till then it's rather hard to go to sleep. either way, at eight thirty...after probably about a total of four horus of sleep (i kept waking up and watching the tv which i never turned off) i was wide awake so i got up and eventually met some friends to go to the north shore and chill all day. very relaxing day, good to have. but yeah, tomorrow i'm going to diamond head EARLY (1-3 ft. sets) and hoping to come back and clean the house a bit before (possibly) pickup again, and then pickin' the parents up at eight pm. and that should be thursday :)

wow, not even a pint...this is going to be fun to finish : )

'night 'night

meat jun

the wave









teahupo`o, tahiti, the heaviest wave on earth. just thought you'd like some eye candy. right at the peak of this break, the reef is only a half meter deep. these waves are probably about twenty feet give or take...five? i dunno. but imagine just falling from that high into two and a half feet of water onto concrete (the reef isn't sharp, it's been worn smooth and flat by the surf). painful? yeah, i'd say. i've jumped from things that high and plunged 8-10 feet underwater. NOW, imagine falling from that high, into that water, covering that concrete, with hundreds of pounds of water chasing you like a fucking pile driver from hell. people have died here...it's insane. i look at things like this and i remember the feeling i had going over the falls (basically falling off the top of the crest and getting pounded straight down by the entire wave following right behind you) of only a FIVE foot wave once at sandy's (a beach that possibly causes the most injuries in the world...a mix of stupid tourists and a very dangerous shorebreak) and getting pounded into the reef maybe FOUR feet deep (but sharp). on my way down i manged to flip completely over to hit the water with my ass, and then the reef with my ass leaving a big bruise.....and THEN i started getting dragged over the reef like getting cheese grated by the current as the wave passed over me. i was held underwater for probably only ten or twelves seconds, but it felt like five minutes and i had no idea if i'd broken anything, i just felt pain all over. i came out if it with only a bruised ass and a few cuts and scrapes, but i thought about what could've happened if i hadn't flipped over - either couldn't manage or hadn't made that split second decision - and landed on my head.

i'd probably be dead too.

and back to my original point. teahupo`o` is one huge, scary motherfucker. the reason i like bodyboarding and surfing so much is because it truly does scare the living shit out of me. funny i'd call that fun :) but i'm a bit of a masochist....

cheese.

kiksriot

the adorable little japanese girl we all know and love now has a blog, aptly named the most terrific liar. i love you kix, i really do :) and she linked me. i love you more. have my children?

hah, yeah, and now that i linked you kicks, you're going to get TONS of traffic from all the people visiting....my......shite. i mean, site. yeah, barely anybody reads anymore...and i get all these funkyass IP's now so i have no idea who you people are. makes it more exciting to type shit like my confession of love to makiko. whooooooo's gonna read? iiiiiiii doooooooon't knooooooow.....!

heh. the summerblog...always an interesting thing. and i'll post another interesting dreamblob in a few minutes. short, sweet, and gaurenteed to either disgust you or make you laugh :) on another funny note, wtf is this:

****************************************
Quixote454 (1:20:01 PM): wow...
Auto response from The Firephile (1:20:01 PM): bodyboarding for a few hours, and then o`ahu pickup! we'll see how much these squirelly locals can rock this uptown localite....
Quixote454 (1:20:28 PM): If I'd read your blog more.... during the year I would have thought different of you :-)
Quixote454 (1:20:47 PM): hmmmm....
Quixote454 (1:20:50 PM): that came out wrongish
Quixote454 (1:20:52 PM): ttyl
The Firephile (8:21:40 PM): wtf?
*****************************************

heh, i wonder if the discovery of my blob could ever improve a person's image of me. btw, that's sasha. fuckin' freshmen.

so today was quite possibly the most amazing day of this month. woke up and ate three eggs and a half can of corned beef hash with a can of strawberry guava juice, listened to some music really loud (my dad has a kenwood 100W/channel amp, 2 floorspeakers, 2 satellites, and a 15-inch cerwin vega subwoofer...i built most of it :) cerwin vega is like the fuckin' Porto of commercially available speakers. Porto is like the ducati of tequila's. a ducati is that BADASS motorcycle on the matrix2. best in the world. cerwin vega, porto, and a ducati....if only i had money.

wtf was i saying....*read* oh yeah, my day. after that, i emailed some old teachers who are all very glad to hear from me. one of which may be able to find me a job doing something OTHER than flippin' patties at burger king. washed my stinkass dog. he's really cute when he starts madly shaking all the water off. it's really weird, he doesn't like baths at all, but he doesn't mind standing in the rain looking really sad by the door, or jumping in the water trying to catch alamihi's, this EXTREMELY fast black crab that runs over the lava rocks. i used to shoot rocks at these things with a slingshot and they could dodge the rock. well....sometimes.....every once in a while i'd nail one (once in a LONG while). needless to say, yeah, my dog's pretty fast....pretty impressive for about 80 pounds and 9 years.

back to my day (the rest is fast), i went bodyboarding after that...on my way there listening to more REALLY LOUD music in my car (pioneer cd deck, 40W/channel powering the front stock speakers, and a Legacy 600W 4-channel amp w/ two channels feeding the rear 6x9 stock speakers and the other two channels bridged to mono to feed the 12-inch pioneer sub that i boxed myself in a GREAT sounding box). you have no idea how much i miss these two stereo systems :) onwards.

i went bodyboarding at Walls, in waikiki. since i haven't boarded since christmas, and even then not all that much (summertime is when my breaks are up), i went to Walls which is always a really mellow break, not too dangerous...but of course i decide on a big wave to ride OVER the wall (i was going to just stop in front of it...then just sit on it....then i'm like...hmm...maybe i can go OVER it) and i end up slicing my heel, shallow, and scraping the side of my calf. nothing bad, but it was pretty stupid. the wall comes about 2.5 feet out of the water...hah. oh well. after bodyboarding for a couple hours i went to ala moana beach park to play pickup. the slice on my heel made cleats a bit uncomfortable (read: painful as fuckin' hell) but i had a great time. they're really fun people...nowhere near my age but really nice :) they even invited me (or almost begged) me to join the summerleague 'cause all the teams are short and one of the girls says kind of quietly, "bring a gray shirt," and another guy goes, "hey, no, bring a BLACK shirt," and then another dude's like, "while you're at it, bring a red, green and yellow shirt too." they liked my playing :) i was makin' a lot of d's and playin' okay on offense, just flowin' it up the field, didn't wanna try anything stupid. and this has turned into quite a healthy blog.

so.....meat....dog....surf....ultimate. um... i'm gonna go take a shower and then try a pint of beer that my dad brewed for me. it's a german black : ) HEAVY. and so fuckin' alcholic, hah, great shit. the last time my dad made this i'd prefer that over guiness, no shit. and you know how picky i am with my beer. fresh beer is MAGNITUDES better than even the keg. if you haven't, try it. and then i'm going to waste away in front of like, five HBO channels.

i love my life. *sigh*

oh, and i got my lower lip bloody from a d'd disc to the face, and a bloody upper lip from a shoulder. mmmm...


blood.

foiled again

so turns out cat (the third of my unholy trinity of the undying high school crushes) is "kind of seeing somebody" *sigh* i guess i'll have to search elsewhere. as i said before, my brother said i should find a summer fling, hah. like i could ever live with that. i dunno, maybe i could. all i know is that i'm going to the fuckin' beach tomorrow :) maybe i'll find some hot bodies to at least satisfy my psychological sexual needs (yay! fantasies!).

at the moment, resident evil is on one of my many HBO channels at my disposal. in case you don't know, milla jovovich is like, among the top five hottest women on earth to me (i won't take the time to formulate a list though). i once wondered if i should start making 'top five' and 'top ten' lists on my blob, but i realized that i never really have to 'find' things to write about. i just kind of....do. i dunno, maybe it'lll be fun...good way to get audience participation, perhaps? but yeah, beautiful. and she wears a red dress (mmm...red) that just kind of gets shorter and shorter throughout the movie. always a good thing.

and four fifths of the rescue team just got killed by a computer, spectacular :) this is what artificial intelligence gets us i suppose.

lots going through my head lately....i'm still in that numb shock of being home in an empty house with absolutely no engagements planned as of yet. i emailed some old teachers, left some messages on cell phones, trying to figure out who of my friends are actually home...cutomizing my dad's computer to my own needs :) he's got xp so i have my own 'user account' but i keep running into problems when i have to instal something. fuckin' microsoft. but yeah, lots of clutter...having trouble coming to any real conclusions or decisions about anything right now. i keep having to tell the story about how i don't know wha ti'm doing with my life and it just makes it harder and harder every time i hear it come outa' my mouth. i suppose i have a year to figure it out but still, it weighs more and more. i'm sure you (the general you) know the feeling.

my latest idea is to start emailing magazines about advice on how to get into certain careers. for example, i was reading 'mobile entertainment' on my plane rides from cali which is a magazine dedicated partially to souping up cars for performance, but almost equally they talk about car audio/video installations. there's some crazy shit out there nowadays, lots of cool electronics i'd love to get my hands on and, even more, build :) i figure waves of emails should at least give me an idea about how the industry works. i kind of imagine a bunch of self-taught types of people who started these small companies out of their garages and got good at making amps and just built up from there. that's quite a barrier of entry if you ask me (yay ecomomics). that would be a great fuckin' job though :) how to make an amp that can blow the fuckin' windows out of your car. it's amazing how far past 'practical' techies will go sometimes for the sake of 'the show'. i'll admit, if i had the money i would too :) but i don't, so i concentrate on the practicality of my toys. mm...toys. i've got like 70 sony points on my sony card that i can use at any time....or wait for more to pile up. that's $70, basically...for sony shit. i love sony shit (that's why i got the card). shit i'd be a happy man if i could work with sony for the rest of my life. they even have a car audio line called Xplod...it's colors are red black and silver....i think it's calling me :)

we'll see.

on a lighter note...my blob came up second on a search for "pressing & sucking boobs" which came ENTIRELY out of consequence. funny how those three words ended up in one post....great shit (i wasn't even talking about porn that time).

milla jovovich just rocked the collective ass of about eight zombied out, bloody as hell doberman's. so hot.

mm...red.

home!

home home HOME! nice. it's only been a few hours but it's been a NICE two hours *sigh* my dog stinks, he needs a bath, but that's not too hard to arrange. he's so cute : ) but yeah, i'm not feeling very insipired at the moment, so i'm just gonna go watch some cable : ) you know my parents have like, FIVE HBO channels? so nice.

but yeah, for now, cable time : ) i'll be back though, in time. no need to promise, you know i'm good for it ; )

fire rock pale ale...mmm...mmm...good.

insomniac

so with my sister and her boyfriend adhering to at some type of normal sleeping schedule, i find a few hours at the end of a day to myself with the tv, stereo, and this here computer. i think they pay some sort of hourly rate (modem) for internet or something so i try not to stay on too long, mostly checking my emails, grades, making sure i have a ride home when i get back to hawaii (i'm getting home before my parents).

and of course save some time for a quick blob....heh. i'm useless. i highly doubt i'll be getting many readers, and for those who do won't come very often and will find like, twenty posts that they don't want to, and probably won't read. maybe i'll give up eventually, but as long as SOMEBODY reads...that's just about all the motivation i need. so far there hasn't been a completely dead day yet.

i've been having a lot of fun with the family, but i'm still yearning for my home rock. and my dog. and my bed. and the fuckin' beach. of course i have to find a job, but i imagine i can afford to be useless for at least a day or two. a good old friend of mine is picking me up from the airport so maybe we'll chill out and drink my parents' beer for an afternoon :) catchup and such, it's been a while since we've hung out (he goes to officer's school w/ the navy something in rhode island i think). good stuff.

i find myself thinking about candace a LOT lately...and rather unfortunately. it's depressing. i keep trying to figure out what exactly i think of her, and what exactly i want of her....or rather what i want between us. anytime i'm near her i feel a little fire burning inside me looking for some sort of vent, but never finding anything to quench its hunger. no luck talking with her....that just woke up things i'd been avoiding. i've had a few people ask me...a few rather gossipy sort of people...about one small specific of that night of the toga party we talked. i'd asked that they keep it quiet, mostly for matt's sake, but apparently he already knows *shrugs*. so yeah, sai and london both asked me, sai the luckier of the two 'cause she asked a more open ended question, but yeah, i kissed candace that night. oops. london asked if i 'made out' with her...because she'd heard that "matt was mad" blah blah blah...and i told her no, i didn't make out with her, and i didn't. i didn't lie, but she didn't push it, so i left her thinking what she will :) not very honest of me but london has no conscience, it doesn't hurt my moral too much to simply keep something from her. sai on the other hand just asked me if i'd kissed her, 'cause she "heard something" from "someone" who i haven't quite discovered...and this is turning into a novel.

but yeah, i kissed candace, didn't make out with her, but definitely not in a way i should've been kissin' her with her boyfriend upstairs and all. why i did it, i'm still pondering. one obvious part of it, that i've accepted, is that i am attracted to her. possibly only sexually (i still get that feeling when i'm close to her, like when she reached out and pulled me, resisting, towards her for a hug...), but attracted nonetheless. i've never been one to place much importance on sexual attractions, and i'd be severely dissappointed in myself if that is the only reason i'm attracted to her, but i still reserve a place for the possibility. also, i was at least a little drunk. *shrugs* i have few inhibitions, and less when i'm drunk. moreso...i wanted to know what she'd do. she didn't resist, kind of kissed back (it was quick), and i wonder what she thinks of me despite saying that she "hasn't been romantically attracted to me in a long, long time"....and told me a few things about her and matt that i will keep between us (for her sake). but still, i wonder, but i don't want to ask. well..part of me does, part of me wants to know anything, but the more logical part of me says i should just butt out. i dunno. it has a lot to do with MY thoughts...like...i can't make my own decisions until i really know what's up, and certain things would make my decision easier to make.

i still find myself wondering if through all this i just want her back....but usually the thought of her fucking someone who was once a good friend of mine makes ANY type of relationship with her seem like more and more of a headache i'd rather just forget about. for all the time i've known her, i've wanted her, and that's why i got close to her. now that i don't want her...or don't want to admit that i want her....or that i really am just disgusted by the whole thing...i don't know what kind of friends we could be. never made sense to me that i could think to date someone i can't even be friends with...but matt was a bit of a monkey wrench in that little machine now wasn't it....or maybe it's an excuse.

jesus christ....wtf am i talking about *sigh*

the sad thing is this really is how i think...i could go on all night on this....but for the purposes of this blob, i think i'll stop now (not to say i won't continue). i ask myself why i blob this...and who'll read it, what they'll think of it.....i don't imagine she'd read it, but perhaps i'll be surprised.

questions. fuck 'em. i want....i want....

beer.

*sigh* of relief

so grades finally came in, and i can breath again. i was getting that queasy feeling with my heart beating like a pile driver when i was checking them but i am QUITE happy with them. two b's (the hard classes) two a minus' (the two core EE classes) and two b's for my two one point labs. fuckin' a. 3.3 somthing bringin' my cumulative gpa do a 3.36 i think (putting my life out there of course). not bad, not bad. last fall i rocked, but what can i say...ultimate isn't too conducive to studying.

so i think today we're going to an aquarium :) cool stuff. should be fun, monterey bay something something or caramel something something, supposed to be the best 'aquarium' in the world (apparently sea world in san diego is excluded, i liked that place a lot). we'll see. my sister's hungover and my dad just lost his wallet, but i've been eating DAMN good and i just got good news on my grades, and the sun's up. nice, nice, nice. i don't think anyone's even really reading this anymore, but i'll still be here ;) i go home in THREE DAYS! i love hangin' out with the fam, but i'll be seeing my brother and sister after summer, and i have to spend ALL SUMMER with the parents, so i'm really looking forward to seeing my house, and my dog, and my bed, and my beaches, and the women. mmm....tanned, in a bikini, straddling a longboard and glistening wet in the tropical sun. really. what more could i ask for?

i'm out.

coffee

\

wasuuuuup

howzit boys and girls :) thought i'd send another shout out and tell everyone how shit is out here. i had a startling realization today...calirfornia SUCKS. haha. granted i haven't 'lived' here really and it's hard to get a feel for a city just passing through...although i have passed through cali on many, many occasions for various reasons through different cities and i don't like it all that much. if i ever end up here i hope it's like venice beach or santa cruz or something like that jsut so i can work and go to the beach (this is if i can't live in hawai`i). but yeah, after being in NYC, i know where to go for a party. after living in hawai`i, i know where to go to chill. and after being out of this goddamn country, i know where to go to explore ;)

another interesting (avoiding saying startling twice in one day) realization was that back at columbia....no girls ever cook for us. mostly it's liu, chang and i that cook. very weird *shrugs*. i discovered this talking to my dad (he's the cook in the family, we fired my mom) this afternoon and i never thought of it. i just like getting people together which is why i keep putting those little dinners together, but yeah...i think maybe ONCE makiko cooked for us....rachel came over and cooked pizza once, although a lotta people helped....and that's about it. they always help, don't get me wrong, but it's almost never the 'woman in the kitchen' where they belong (i'm kidding...you should know that). and next year, i imagine much of the same :) fuckin' women. even more useless now than they used to be!

speaking of 'fuck women'....my brother was telling me i should get a summer fling. that would be fun. now where do i find cute girls in hawai`i...oh yeah....everywhere.

if only that were the only problem *slaps head*

yeah, i imagine i'll just suck s'more :) but shit, i FINALLY turn twenty one in two months and when i get back to nyc i plan to get out more and see some cool shit. cooler clubs (that don't cost a 45 bucks), cool bars (that aren't full of frosh), and also jazz. i wanna see some good jazz. and i don't wanna have to worry about getting the boot for being underage...not that that ever happens at a jazz club...but still, it'll be nice not to have to worry. and christian, drew, now you won't have to worry about where to go that you can get my underrage ass through the doors ;)

it should be nice.

mm...chocolate covered gummi bears.

alive

hellooooo!!!!

i'm out here in oakland stayi'n at my sister's place and thougth i'd send a shout out. i left nyc in a bit of a hellstorm and yeah, a few people didn't really know where the hell i was...sorry. christian, if you're reading this i just got your email (i wasn't didn't have my computer for most of thrusday anyway), glad you found us. liu, if you're there, sorry about not calling when i left for amcaff but i was trying to get there as fast as i could and after dumping my fridge at eric's place i just told him to post and i got my ass out there. kix, rach, you should've waited longer. you both suck. i mean...sorry, i was packing. but write to me! i won't be checking mail much in the next two weeks, but i'll try now and again. once i'm home though (may26th) i'll be back to checking prolly every day. i suppose if you wanna waste a few bucks you could call me (808-395-6595), but i should be on email...as well as AIM once in a while (keep in mind, six hours behind you though)

but yeah, my sis graduated this afternoon :) it was cool. nice to have the five of us together again, doesn't happen all that often these days....and maybe less so in the near future but the three of us (bro, sis) should be seeing more of eachother next year at least.

well, i'll write more in time, but i just wanted to put something out to tell everyone that i'm not done bloggin' yet ;) check back once in a while, i'll definitely be back in full swing by the twenty sixth though.

alohas!

final countdown

one unfortunate discovery at my workplace (ex-workplace) was this song by some group called 'europe' i think called final countdown. eighties glam rock taken to the extreme...but it's stuck in my head now *shrugs*

so, as of this post, seven hours, forty minutes 'till my junior year winds down to some turning of the ole' crank (read: thinking) to finish my signals final which i'm 'starting' to study in about fifteen minutes (get the coffee pot goin'). after that, pack up the rest of this shit and i'm outa' here after some dinner and drinks maybe.

wish me luck

no, i don't believe in that shit, it's my burden....

'till next time!

gogogo

long, detailed dream blob, go check it out (link at left)

"if nothing i've been gone too long"

dolt

kiksuave (3:06:33 PM): oh yeah, and thanks for making me sound like a complete fool of an ignorant teeny-bopper in your blog
kiksuave (3:06:47 PM): ...was what i was thinking, but then i thought, that's exactly what i was

haha, you hate me kix ; ) oh, yo (everyone else), kix is thinking of starting a blog!!! but she's shy. feels like she has nothing to say (it was an intersting conversation) and i kept trying to tell her tht neither do i, i just write what i think.....she said something like, "well, not everyone's like YOU" and i said "well they fuckin' should be" or something and then realized that i'd probably want to shoot every goddamn one'a them : ) but yeah, get kicks to blog, it'd be fun. she's got lots to say that she hides behind that quiet facade ; ) who knows, maybe she'll talk about....you.

soooo, thanks to brian white my room is now about half as 'heavy' as it was an hour ago. he stashed three boxes and my snowboard in the corner of his living room life saver, good man : ) and fuckin' crazy. i look forward to spending more time with him next year. there's still a lotta shit all over the place but i'm taking a buncha' clothes home, my blades, cleats (mmm...WARMmuthafuckin'ultimate), discs...yeah. my shit's gonna be spread out over five, possibly six friends' places this year. thanks so much, all of you!

just for the record, i just wanted to let everyone know a brilliant packing method i've used since i left hawaii in the first place. THE DESK is an interesting animal. full of all kinds of shit, sorted in such a way that only the owner can find everything and anything in it. sometimes doesn't make much logical sense, but it makes sense to it's master and that's all that matters. SO, instead of going through my desk and trying to sort everything out and pack it up nicely, what i do is get all the grocery bags i've stashed under my bed and just dump each drawer in a bag! two bags for the big one on the bottom. but yeah, in the last four desks i've had (home, hartley, wallach, schapiro) i've had at least five of my knives in my top drawer, and they stay right there because when i move in again, i just get the bag, figure out which drawer it 'was', and dump it in the new drawer : ) i was always so proud of myself but i guess others probably do it as well *shrugs*

i'm gonna go blog that weirdass dream now (alpine ice skating)....

huh...pigeon

makiko!

The Firephile: oh, btw, i have to know
The Firephile: how do you know about chet baker?
kiksuave: heh
kiksuave: i'll come out
kiksuave: um...heh, it's really an embarrassing story
The Firephile: lmao
The Firephile: always the best ones
kiksuave: but, in 9th grade, gap used to do these khaki ads
kiksuave: pictures of really famous artists, writers, musicians wearing khakis
kiksuave: all black and white
kiksuave: chet baker was one of them
The Firephile: lol, i hear he was a handsome dude
kiksuave: (he was holding a trumpet, no shirt)
kiksuave: he was fucking hotttttt!
kiksuave: so, 13 year old me looked him up
The Firephile: did you at least listen to his music?
kiksuave: of course...that's what i meant by "looked him up"
The Firephile: okay, good : )

Laugh Out Loud

HAH! if any of you read my webboard....that dude 'john' is my romanian friend (columbia boy) on exchange at london business school. kid works harder than anyone i know. SUCKER. either way, john, glad to be of service *bows, shakespearian style with one foot out and all that shit*. i'm all about procrastination, and if i can be an instrument of procrastination instead of just a victim, then maybe it'll even out?

we'll see.

either way, i get a bit of a break now so i went to amcaff after my last final to partially celebrate duke's brithday on monday. he seemed to enjoy himself. afterwards (1am?) burger, austin, stoops, whirley and i went to whirley's place and watched 'equilibrium' w/ some beers and munchies. i discovered oatmeal cream pies, thanks to whirley...OMG...so good. btw, if you haven't, GO AND SEE EQUILIBRIUM....an amazing, underappreciated movie. SO hot.

on another note, i've fallen in love with gerry mulligan and mostly his work with chet baker....highlighted by "my funny valentine", a song i adored sung by sarah vaughn, prior....makes it so much more enjoyable now (both versions). i've been thinking a whole lot about learning the sax this summer, and i get more and more excited about it. especially listening to all this jazz i love...ooooh man, if i could play ANY of this i'd be in love with myself....not that i'm not narcissistic enough as it is....(have YOU ever seen me naked? oh baby). heh...that was kinda weird...sorry. either way, yeah. i'm hoping to incorporate a lot that goes thorugh my head into my band with the saxaphone. i find it rather dissapointing that i can't solo on the guitar because for years, i play shit through my head doing counterpoint against various things and i'm anxious to try it for real. just never had an 'instrument' other than my voice and since penny left (trumpet/backup vocals) i have no melody to counterpoint....so sad.

in time, in time.

on yet another note...i've been drafted into my cousin's wedding entertainment for this coming christmas to sing "smooth" by santana and rob thomas. i've been singing it now and again and it's actually a lotta fun....my family (dad/uncles/cousins) are having trouble with some of the timings though and i think i can help since i'm used to fucked up ska rhythms. should be fun ;) we'll be practicing this summer. maybe i can get a recording out? that'd be fun.

i think i will indeed keep the blog going, but maybe not as often. i probalby won't be online 24/7 like i am now (or, six days in a row like right now), but i'll come around once in a while. tomorrow is packing and studying for signals, than MATRIX RELOADED, more packing, dinner/drinks with the crew, more packing, and i'm outa' here on friday morning (early).

i'm sure there'll be more to come though, don't worry boys and girls : )

oatmeal cream pies

undemise

so, before i unfucked myself....now i just undemised myself! i'm really usually not one to worry needlessly about shit like i have been...but i was REALLY worried about these two finals. they were both hard (filters was crazy), but in such a way that by putting my fucking head to the grindstone i could figure them out. sooo nice. i don't think i'll get an a in either way, but i'm very confident about getting a B.

looooong sigh of relief. and of course there's nobody around to drink with yet....fuckers.

i don't know what to do with myself, i think i'm gonna piss my pants...

....

....

....!....

tttthhhhaaaaank you.

*continues eating*

-name it

demise

in twenty five minutes, the six hours of my slow, painful demise begins. unprepared, unmotivated, and almost uncaring, i march into the class i love and wish i had more time for (jazz), and the class i love and wish it wasn't so hard to appreciate (filters). my two favorite classes! my two hardest classes! my two WORST grades right now, and my two bombs.

oh god. help me. i just wanna pass jazz...but doing good in filters would be good for my CAREER.

starburst lollipops...

NOOOOOOOO

so i had this crazy mutha'fuckin' dream that i'll dream blob later, but i went from crazy rollerlbading...lost in la....to going up some mountain...and ending up ALPINE ICE SKATING in some cold country....reallly cool.

i woke up after doing the craziest run....and i felt far too good...looked over at my clock and yeah...didn't go off. everything's set....correct am/pm...fucker just didn't go off. i don't get it. so now i have three and a half hours to cram for TWO finals! yay.

i'm dead.

sparls

christian's going to "field day" this summer...it's a two-day MASSIVE concert...camping type. either way, he and his friends have an amazing plan to make it even more fun. definately a cool idea, i hope it works out for them.

bazaar

hit it

so...i'm getting a lotta hits for some reason. is everyone just bored? i found out i just got my site listed on nycbloggers.com finally : ) they kind of ignored my first request so i did it again *shrugs* now they like it. but yeah...today's my busiest day so far and it's not even from me just checking my message board incessently this time!

leave me messages! who are you people? (lotta weird IP's) feel free not to, or just post anonymously, it's still a nice study break :) wait...that's why i post so much....oh well, make my study breaks longer then.

mm....watermelon starburst lollipop....good shit.

and i found two redbulls hiding in the back of my fridge

i'm back!

oh so you're the duke

The Firephile (8:45:15 PM): done?
duuuuk (8:48:03 PM): for today!
The Firephile (8:48:35 PM): phat
The Firephile (8:48:46 PM): four/four leaving first?
duuuuk (8:48:50 PM): yep
duuuuk (8:48:57 PM): I got a round of applause in the last one
The Firephile (8:49:10 PM): lol, how'd that happeN?
duuuuk (8:49:35 PM): balls... you know him? I don't know if he saw me drinking my beer too, or just that I finished in 50 minutes
The Firephile (8:49:51 PM): you brought one!? sweet
duuuuk (8:49:56 PM): I brought 6
duuuuk (8:50:00 PM): I only had 4, though
The Firephile (8:50:09 PM): hah, i didn't think you'd do it
The Firephile (8:50:12 PM): nice, nice : )
duuuuk (8:50:15 PM): me neither
The Firephile (8:50:46 PM): so he started the applause then?
duuuuk (8:51:05 PM): it was just him, actually... everyone else just stared
The Firephile (8:51:25 PM): heh, yeah that'll happen
The Firephile (8:51:31 PM): good form
The Firephile (8:52:11 PM): that's going on the blog
The Firephile (8:52:16 PM): :Þ
duuuuk (8:52:26 PM): woo, I'm famous
***fin****

congrats to duke for finishing FOUR finals in one day. i've had 3 in twenty four hours before and that sucked...mad props, dookie. oh, and on his birthday nonetheless! happy birthday duke ;)

passed out

trying to read jazz in the lounge...for a while i've been studying in front of the tv because the frequent 2-minute breaks keep me up....after a heavy lunch of fresh rice and leftover chinese, though, NY1 wasn't quite interesting enough. i think it only works at the wee hours of the night when there're reruns of sitcoms on...those work nicely.

after taking one final, and feeling good about my performance on it, my motivation to study has once again plummeted : ) very proud of myself. with the realization that i still have 22 hours to both sleep and study for two finals....um...yeah, i'm going back to sleep.

OH, and i realized that i'm a bit smarter than i thought i was. when i was searching for plane tickets, for price sake i was planning on a 5:30pm thursday flight, but in the midst of flight/price changes HOURLY, i got a 7am friday flight and completely forgot that i had : ) i did, however, remember my arrival time in oakland which was the important one and i was talking to my dad....and the thought of a 20 hour cross-country flight just seemed awkward, even with a layover. sure enough, i checked, and i do indeed have thursday night : )

haven't decided what to do with it yet, but i'm hoping it'll involve seeing peeps i had thought i wouldn't be able to see (seniors, old farts, wassup?)

starburst lollipops....another chapter of the insomniac handbook

electronics, monday, 9am

i aced that shit.

three more to go....

insomniac handbook

if you can sleep with caffeine in your blood, you'll wake up more revived.

careful though, gotta' know your body ;)

our nap? maybe two....

i got candy

confessionals

so in case you haven't noticed the 'bravenet' counter at the bottom of my blob...check it out. it logs IP addresses somehow *shrugs* cookies i guess. it's a bit of an infraction on my panopticon...i have a vague knowledge of 'who' is in that tower watching me....i cheat *blushes*. it only shows dorms (unless it's a static ip like mine) so there is some guesswork involved...

i originally put my counters there just as motivation to write...seeing the numbers (without responses) was enough...but of course my curiosity got he best of me. perhaps that's me extending my panopticon unto you ;) i still have to read more of foucault to see if i even know what i'm talking about...

either way, what brings this up is another confessional actually. when i blob something that particularly stings to release (i'm not invincible after all) i tend to try and bury it with more and more blobs in the hopes that the people who don't 'regularly' read my blob might not read that far down when they visit. without fail, almost anytime i blob something about lindsay, she ends up checking my blob....which is like, once a month or so. kinda easy since her IP address says YALE....yay. and oops. she doesn't talk to me anyway...but i feel something just knowing she made that deft jab with her finger to click on the link....*sigh*

and, checking my trusty bravenet again today, i see an apple OS...check the IP and it's river. i only know of one person at columbia who uses an apple, and she lives in river too....yeah, candace. i was indeed burying that post about friday night....but i wonder if she got down to it. it was honest. i can stand by it. but still....i'm once again asking myself where that border is that prevents me from forcing my panopticon on to reluctant others....i'm almost certain that some would be hesitant to interact with me; afraid that i'd blob it. but then again i might find those who aren't afraid....*shrugs* too much thinking....

electronics is coming along nicely....for some reason i'm very...lucid tonight...things are making sense very nicely and the clock doesn't seem to be moving as fast as i think it is. i'm feeling that burn to get outa' here though...slowly divying up my stuff to be stored for the summer (thanks, all of you who're helping me)...making plans to pack and ship outa' here....i feel like this summer is going to change a lot in my life. for one thing it's my last real 'summer'....it's the real world after this baby. i'm turning 21. next year vanessa and lewis (sis and bro) will be in and near the city, respectively, there's a girl i have to see about back home, there's surfing to be done, there's money to be made, and relationships to ponder. my life is slowly coming together, making more sense and focusing on a more general direction...i feel like i'm ready to start moving ahead again. it's been a while since i felt something other than a struggle to keep up with life, but i think i've got one hand clenched tightly around a lonely handlebar. this summer will be a nice rest...a calm before the storm if you will.

a good storm.

i blog a lot

so i've compiled 'most' of the jazz listening list onto my winamp player and i'm just...gonna play it for the next forty seven hours....'cause that'll help.

yeah i suck.

i'm gonna read now 'till i pass out, then i'm gonna get up and switch gears to study electronics for tomorrow at 9am (sixteen hours and counting....)

make me laugh! (message board)

badoomp chaaaaaaaa....

anjali

refer to my "but your'e jess" post.....

aaaand thanks to kelsey, she found me (screename changed, conv. condensed):


Anjali (1:59:21 AM): Nice posting in your blog...
The Firephile (1:59:36 AM): lol
The Firephile (1:59:53 AM): if this is who i think it is i'm gonna laugh my ass off
Anjali (2:00:04 AM): Well, whom do you think it is?
The Firephile (2:00:20 AM): can i judge from your screen name?
Anjali (2:00:41 AM): Pretty much, yes
Anjali (2:01:19 AM): Hey...it's Kelsey's friend, Anjali.
The Firephile (2:01:47 AM): nice to meet you : ) (i'm gonna kill her :Þ )
Anjali (2:02:13 AM): As she is going to kill me once she finds out that I IMed you!
The Firephile (2:02:31 AM): ahh, the circle of life
Anjali (2:02:43 AM): Seriously...
The Firephile (2:04:21 AM): this'll probably end up on my blog too ; )
Anjali (2:06:40 AM): Oh no, I'll be making a second appearance on the blog. Kelsey is definitely going to murder me.
The Firephile (2:07:01 AM): don't worry, i'll get to her first

so yeah, chit and chat. kelsey, if you're reading this, three words. RUN and HIDE. muahahaha. actually it's okay. i could probably use a few meddlers in my life. nonetheless, anjali had to go study and i was on my way to bed. i probably bored her, and have no time to do anything about it right now....*sigh* boo, maybe another time.

mango

narcissism


they call me the toucan.....


so here's me at the toga party friday showing up like an hour and a half late. i was asleep *shrugs*. i have a cold...i was hungover all of saturday....it was fun.

for all party pics go to Catherine's slideshow.

double shots

hangover

after three MORE hours of nappage, my hangover's finally gone...that took a while :) i took some cold medicine earlier today and that kept me from sleeping more...damnit. so i laid down to watch a movie and that did it....so much better.

so, tonight's my last day. after dinner and a movie right now w/ austin and chang, i'm gonna be sleeping when i'm tired, eating when i'm hungry, and studying all the time in between until noon thursday when i madly pack what's left (i'll do most of that wednesday afternoon) and head to laguardia for a 5:30pm flilght. oh, and matrix wednesday night :) but yeah, it's gonna be another hellstorm. i think this is by far the latest i've waited to do any kind of studying. two of my classes i don't really need to study for 'cause the homeworks are very in-depth. the other two are gonna take some cramming though. especially jazz of all things *shakes head* i suck at non-techs.

so, sorry to say...don't expect to see much of me this week unless you can catch me hungry at an opportune time.

flame on

andfound

i completely forgot to mention that last night was a CRAZYMUTHAFUCKIN' PARTY!!!! whoever wasn't there, it was a good year-end closer.



good times, good times. ended with some dissonance, but it was in key.


*trippy chord*

lost

so i spent a long time with candace tonight after the party...everyone had left. barry came by a few times completely tripped out on coke or some godawful thing...he was really wired.

either way, me and candace...uh...yeah...didn't really get anywhere...again. i did, however promise that i'd try this summer to 'be a friend'. matt's going to maryland and once again in her life, she doesn' tknow when the next time she'll see her boyfriend is.

i, on the other hand, basically told her what i never did before: that i love her. even now, after all this, and even though i don't think i could ever be with her again. i think i still love her.

shit.

i'm a dick


You are Cyclops!

You are attractive and strong, in a boy scout
republican sort of way. You are set firm in
your beliefs, which is not necessarily a bad
thing. But often when faced with a conflicting
opinion you become defensive and angry and
prone to conflict. You like to be a leader,
but you must acknowledge that there are some
situations which others are better fit to deal
with than yourself.


Which X-Men character are you most like?
brought to you by Quizilla


ruby quartz glasses are cool though

kinda always knew i'd end up your x-girlfriend

very interesting feeling today...quitting my job. i get the same feeling when i'm dumping a girlfriend.....

*kick in the junk*

in the end

among other things that are ending this year, i'm about fifteen minutes from leaving for possibly my last day of work at scharff weisberg. i sent out 'that email' telling my boss what's on my mind and i guess i'll figure out what's up afterwards. it's just gotten really hard to leave campus for an entire day and i'm not learning anything new, and i don't think i'm that much of an asset when i come in once a month sometimes *shrugs*. perhaps they'll have more to say about the issue, but i imagine not.

i think i'm going to try and be a UI next year with acis. good pay, i'll be in the fuckin' lab anyway...it's a good deal and i could use the money.

i'm off to see the wizard....

but you're jess

so at the midnight breakfast thing (in the gym at barnard, lotsa food...LOTSA girls in pajamas and whatnot) it was brought to my attention that one of kelsey's friends thought i was, according to eric's rendition of the conversation, "the epidemy of hot." this girl's name is ahnjulee...or something sounding like that. of course the conversation wanders over (thanks to eric) to how girls will say that up until they talk to me :) wonderful. i rule!

either way, a little later (ten, fifteen minutes) i was checking out this girl a table over from ours...and she looks back and does kinda the 'oh he saw me look' and looks again...oops. and within minutes makiko gets all excited and goes, "remember ahnjulee? she's sitting right there" and points me towards that girl....

see, most people, if they find somebody they're checking out look back and return the same looks, they get excited. me? i get scared. i really don't know how to just 'meet' people, i dunno why. i kind of wonder how i have the friends i do 'cause most of the time i don't really remember the first time i met them (rarely). i just kinda grow into them with people i hang around a lot, for example, ultimate. i don't remember the first time i met all my ultimate friends 'cause when i first met them, i barely talked to them! it took a while *shrugs*. so, translate that to meeting women with whom something might happen...and i'm a bumbling fool that has no idea what to say. usually i just end up talking about what a geek i am and how i love to play with electrons....yeah, that's hot. but hey, it's easy to talk about....

i really don't understand what lindsay, candace, or ana found attractive about me....maybe i should ask them some day...pull a cusack....

or i'll just get drunk more often and put myself in awkward situations to force me to meet people (read: HOT WOMEN).

hah......*shakes head* i'm going to sleep

no love

pause

so after that madness with my project and all the other work i was rushing to get in, it's like my life's been put on pause. really weird feeling....tuesday already seems so long ago, and the frustratoin and anxiety surging through my veins...so distant. it's reallyw eird. i'm totally not worried about finals yet...even though i really should be. i'd LIKE to be partying, but everyone's either studying or just not interested....*shrugs* so i've just been kinda mopin' around. saw x-men 2 today, AMAZING. i kept getting chills throughout the movie 'cause it's pretty much like my childhood coming to life. i was so psyched. a must see. multiple times.

with the end of the year coming, once again i have to contemplate what's going to happen to all the people i know....especially (as usual) those graduating this year. *sob* i'll miss you! of course i'm only talking to kix 'cause she's the only one leaving who i know reads this ;) poor girl, has to listen to all my crap....well...doesn't have to. i'm rather confused as to why she reads it so much. thanks nonetheless :) *blows kiss out to cyberland*

hell even being away for three months....might have adverse effects on things. i mean, minus a month (christmas) i've seen some of these new yorkers constantly for a year and a half...and now i'm not going to see them for three whole months. and then at home, old friends? new friends? old flames? i'm not sure what lindsay's doing this summer...don't even know what candace is doing this summer. not that either of them give me a particularly warm feeling when i do see them. cat's still fun...of course she seems overly interested in getting me laid. heh, gotta love 'er i guess. i've survived this long....i always had some weird idea that 21 was a good number to wait for...i get that from my mom i guess. but even then, i feel like i'll still be waiting....*Srhugs* i'm in no rush.


for now though, i'm gonna go get more free food at midnight breakfast at barnard. such a good deal :)

be back with more year-end ponderings i suppose

chilly drink

dream blobs

a few, broken dreams go read!

<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<

unfuck

holy shit, i unfucked myself. I FINISHED. it worked, i did everything required...except i had twenty minutes to put it all together and 'write it up' which turned into an awful'write up' if i could even call it a 'write up', hence the quotes. i'm hoping my prof will concentrate on my content, instead though because i did do everything required....

and promptly crashed and slept for twelve hours. i would've liked to go out, get drunk and THEN crash for twelve hours (or more), but no love.

i'm going to get breakfast now. eggs and corned beef hash...mmm...smothered in ketchup. there's something beautiful about runny egg yolkes and ketchup mixing together in a cocophony love.

which reminds me of a great dish i know. it's a local hawaii thing, i have no idea why, but it's called a 'loco moco'. you get a hamburger steak (it's really just a hamburger with all kinds of goodies in it, but we like calling them steaks) on rice, with two fried (key: runny) eggs on top, DROWNED (key: drown the muthafucka) in gravy, and then garnished with ketchup. it really is a spectacular meal, and cheap too. i've made it a few times for the Fuck Princeton Eating Club (my eating email list i compiled last semester for food get-togethers at low costs) and i've gotten good reviews. i should do that again sometime before the end of the semester.

aight, food time

talk to me

come undone

dead

when i'm falling asleep in front of a computer, it's time for sleep. 15 out of 19 hours in mudd...and i'll be on my way back after a nap.

i'm fucked.

*snort*

huge step backwards

yeah, so that big step i thought i took? nope. didn't happen. i fuckin' spent all day in 251 mudd today doing signals and then doing more on my filters project...turns out i have absolutely no clue what i'm doing. everything i try, everything i think i know, doesn't work.

new ideas have come from my friend though, who's finished. so yeah, maybe now i can do it.


FUCK.

geek folly

so i just took a HUGE step in my project. i basically had all the math correct, all my methods correct, and i basically fucking rock, BUT, i did the equivalent of taking a single wrong pin out of something like a chip. the chip only has nine pins, three of which i had to choose from, and i completely didn't think about it and therefore made about 12 more hours of work/contemplation/frustration for myself. i'm an animal, i love it. i could've been DONE with this fuckin' project with as much time as i've been spending on it but i guess learning the hard way will make it stick. it's actually a mistake i've made before on a homework....but yeah....*slaps head*

and through this whole disgusting process of folly, i did learn a lot about matlab, and even re-learned mathematica (i have much more respect for it now than when i did frosh yeaer when i had that recitation on friday MORNING....i guess it's hard to appreciate much about it when i showed up drunk/hungover most of the time : ) so i guess it's not all a waste. if i'd really taken the time to learn these programs a while ago, they could probably do my homework for me : ) mathematica is a nicely organized program that can even do symbolic math....if any of you know how easy it is to use TI-89's and 90's (w/ symbolic math), let's just say mathematica puts it to shame. i imagine it might be a useful tool for future endeavors.

alright, enough of this dorkspeak. jesus christ i'm a geek. my friend scott (also my bassist) and i sit around doing psets and inevitably get into long conversations about the things we're studying and discovering. then of course we realize that there're other people in the lounge and quickly laugh at our dorkisness....it's spectacular. i really can't wait to start applying this shit and solving real life problems. this project is the first time we've ever done that's practical in a working situation and i'm seeing what kind of work and type of thinking is involved, and i like it. hell, half the time i've been working on this project i've been fucking with things and seeing what they do to the overall output of things and it's really interesting. one reason i haven't 'really' needed much sleep recently is because when i sit in front of the computer doing this kind of thing.....i don't get tired. in fact, i get AMPED.


geekdom....

100%

my my, it's all on the field man. first of all, last night i ended up staying at mudd well past 3am...i stayed 'tilla bout 5:30am, came back here, packed up some food and homework, and went to the bus at 6:30am. i didn't play today 'cause my back didn't feel good after NOT SLEEPING AT ALL. needless to say, i was rather tired.

so we show up at princeton, and our first matchup: Cornell.....the fuckin' #2 seed for regionals. we go into it with a fire (and a gimpy scorekeeper : ) and actually lead them at one point, tying a lot, and at their heels at any other given time. unfortunately, with all we gave, it wasn't enough and we were taken 12-15....a loss not to be ashamed of. the guys played their hearts out and got beat. we're also saying goodbye to 3/4 seniors (eytan, gil, matt), and will be seeing salty next year (ms program). gil, to my (and i'm sure others') surprise, broke down in tears. despite everything i hate about the guy, i never doubted that he loved the game. his departure will create a hole in our game, but i have confidence that our game is going to change a little and it will be taken care of. he brought a lot on the field i, personally, didn't like. his way was one way to do it, but definately not the only way and i'm looking forward to filling that hole. love'a the game, however, is something i'll always respect.

and i made it through the season without breaking my back again : ) that was the goal. i did think that playing today would be a bad idea because i hadn't slept....but i just didn't have the time. and i wanted to see them play nonetheless, and i'm glad i did, it was a great game.

congrats to the women, as well, for playing hard against swarthmore...but they, too, fell. ultimate's all pau. all that's left this year is all this fucking work.

and despite only sleeping on the bus ride there and back for TWO DAYS plus one hour friday night, and maybe another hour at princeton yesterday waiting through our buy....on top of all the running around....i'm wide awake. go figure!

insomniac music theater.

uptown FUCKIN' local baby

so columbia uptown local ROCKED regionals today. we went 3-1 losing only to 1st seed upenn. we were lookin' good. i was hellbent on NOT going back to princeton on sunday opting to do homework instead of rock the fields against more would-be foes....but i'm going to try and get back on the field...which means i'm going to sizzle (computer lab in mudd) in a few minutes and aiming to stay 'till 3am. sometime before then i'll decide whether or not i'm going back with the team tomorrow morning at 6:30am...yikes.

more to come

soup outa' the can

Rolling Spider

about that email list for bladers that i made up...i decided to call the the 'rolling spider', because blades (standard) have eight wheels...and spiders have....eight legs. i thought it was very clever :)

either way, we went on a nice, short one today. well, 'short' by my standards at least ; ) (wassup christian). dow riverside drive to 96th street, down the hill and across some mudd and around a tractor through the overpass (they were doing something to it) on down to 40th street on that bad boy, across to sixth ave (btw, at 40th and 11th ave. there was something really cool ***), where sai caught the train back up (for an interview of sorts) and up to and through central park. other than sai and i, there was catherine, albert, and rudy (of all people...). good fun, i liked it a lot.

catherine's already quoted me on her profile, but amanda was supposed to show up too and i asked

"does anyone know her number?"
sai: "three something something something something"
"three something something something something, alright let's go call 'er"

".....oh wait"

yeah, less than graceful....


and then that little black kid who's been tossing with us for the past week or so walks by at some point, turns around waving and says "hi jess!" i've never been introduced to this kid....i don't know his name...hell i've seen him twice and the second time i was just passed out on the field....very weird, but i guess i'm easy to find. it was cute though. those two seem to really like tossing with us...start 'em young : )

sooooo now i'm debating whether to go to mudd only to find all the computers taken or just stay here and do 'other' work that i have...i'd really like to get this project done though : ( haven't quite gotten the math to work too nicely though, but i'm almost there.

'till the sky cries mary

chocolate covered crickets

like a child playing war games



"because the white man is the devil"
-name it

money

i've got a few toys on my wishlist...i'm not sure what to do about that. i've got about seventy bucks that i've made on my sony card and i'm feeling the itch to spend it now. i imagine at some point this summer it'll go on one of three things: headphones (GOOD headphones), a subwoofer (muahaha), or a digital camera. i'm leaning towards the camera or the headphones only because i'm still moving around, i'd rather not add another piece to my 'life' that i hve to move around all the time.....

and the camera, i see no reason why this blob won't be around for a long, long time, and i'd really like to put up weird pictures just...from my day....i found an intersting one:



i thought it was really interesting. however, instead of just posting pics from other sites (i.e. searching the web for interesting shit) i'd rather search nyc for interesting shit.

conformity

amusement

i just put my blob on nycbloggers.com. it's just a compilation of bloggers in nyc, arranged by subway stop :) how cool. there's 30 on the 116th st. uptown local, i'll check 'em out sometime. sounds like a cool idea! check it out (and all you bloggers out there, spread the love, man)

time for the rawk

a light in the darkness

i recently started a rollerblading e-mail list within the ultimate team (wanna join? you know how to reach me) and grace emailed sai to be added, so i added grace and emailed the list with her and said "everyone welcome grace to the party" and she replied with this email (just to meeeeee) making my ugly ass day just a bit brighter :) i thought i'd share.

******************************************************
Hi Jess-with-a-cool-cool-name,

Thanks for welcoming me to the party. I'm flattered
but puzzled. To what party am I being invited? The one
taking place Friday, in Central Park? What will happen
there? Will there be little goblin people dancing in a
circle? Will there be a pot of gold? Or people playing
ultimate? I'm intrigued.

Grace
******************************************************

btw, grace is one of the grad students on the women's team....one of the 'cute' grad students ; )

aight, back to the real world....


total immortal