another random cd-burn

sneaker pimps - find yourself
sublime - santeria
sublime - what i got
blink 182 - adam's song
dave matthews band - crash into me
dave matthews band - satellite
dave matthews band - jimi thing
incubus - pardon me (acoustic)
foo fighters - up in arms
weezer - say it ain't so
frente - a girl is a girl
frente - bizarre love triangle
green day - time of your life (good riddance)
pearl jam - last kiss
mono - life in mono
bjork - joga

i'm pretty sure this was one of the first cd's i ever made because i know for a fact that i own all these cd's...whereas the last cd was made all of mp3's. i guess i really like 'pardon me'...huh....it's really funny, but i listen to all these songs still...except dave matthews to a lesser extent. just got kinda bored of him i guess....his new stuff sucks ass.

alright, i'm going to sleep now...probably getting up for data structures at eleven.....

state of emergency
is where i want to be
(props to whoever knows what song that's from, listed above)



emotional landscapes

mystery cd songlist

blues traveller - hook
everclear - wonderful
sting - if i ever lose my faith
fastball - out of my head
extreme - more than words
verve pipe - freshmen
harry connick jr. - the man in the moon
incubus - pardon me (acoustic)
barenaked ladies - if i had a million dollars
k's choice - not an addict
chris isaac - wicked game
ben fold's five - brick
luna - california
the marcels - blue moon
Nick Cave and the Bad Seeds - Red Right Hand
Leonard Cohen - Waiting For the Miracle


whaddaya think?

i'm very proud of it :)

spontaneous combustion

begin.

so...after trying to get my ass studying since fuckin' NINE PM, i'm finally starting....almost five hours later. i didn't go to ultimate practice tonight to rest my back a bit. it actually feels okay today, but yesterday it was a bit uncomfortable after playing rather hard on saturday and i'd rather rest it up for this saturday. i'll probably go to practice on wednesday though, even if i take it easy (never happens...). i had to help a girl with her computer this evening and she was on crutches 'cause she tore her acl. we were talking about how painful it is to have to sit out of something you love...i was telling her i knew how she felt since i broke my back for the second time soph. spring break and haven't really played hard 'till now. she tore one acl twice, and then she just tore the OTHER acl this past week. poor girl...soccor. had a nice talk with her for like...an hour while i ran scans on her computer...which ultimate came up with nothing meaning her problem was not our network and i couldn't help her *shrugs* oh well.

it's kind of rare on this job that i find people i actualy like. usually i feel really uncomfortable being in peoples' rooms...especially when i have to run something and sit there watching a status bar move a pixel an hour while this person sits there staring at me with hopeful eyes....at least this time she was cool (and cute!). then i went on another ticket...and the dude wasn't there. wonderful. is it really that much to ask someone to stay in their room for a half hour? jesus. i'm not calling your fuckin' cell phone, just fuckin' BE THERE. oh well. he's the one that has to wait longer.

so yeah...'starting' meaning i'm gonna blog. a friend of mine had an away message up that said something like 'maybe i should just be smart and disconnect my ethernet cord'....and i realized that i've never even CONSIDERED that...despite how much time i waste on the net. in the end, though, i feel like it works out nicely. gives me a little outlet to keep myself from going insane. i mean....without it i'd have to make so much more effort to have a study break. this way...i can just have a study break in the convenience of my own little room and let my ass slowly mold itself into my chair. spectacular.

i found an old, unmarked compilation cd in one of my cd wallets. so far:

blues traveller - hook
everclear - wonderful
sting - if i ever lose my faith

i'm liking this cd....i'll write the whole songlist later. see if i'm still proud of it. i think i made it freshmen year when i was exploring the joys of my first cd-burner.

for now, though, it's off the the wonderfulw orld of frequency responses of various operational amplfiers and passive circuits. i'm sure it'll be fun.

tantric

reflection

i was thinking about this past week and boy...what a crazy week it was. i had a whole shitload of work and really didn't sleep much. it was painful. BUT, it all ended with a fuckin' spectacular weekend and i was lounging around today, content in my uselessness, thinking about it.

one thing came to mind that i'd wanted to blob but forgot about. last thursday night/friday morning when i was doing my data structures...as time was running out and i was getting more and more flustered....at one point when i was waiting to see if something would compile, i felt this weakness spread throughout my body and a flutter in my stomach, all like a flash of kryptonite or something.

and then it occured to me....it felt a lot like love ;) or at least what i 'think' love feels like...i still like to tell myself it wasn't ('cause in the end, through all these years, the girl, the 'general' girl that is, is not by my side).

i just thought it was really intersting...and kind of comforting at the same time. makes me feel like not-such-a-pussy when i realize how much i suck at dealing with girls :)

neverending story.

hyper-ballad

specfuckin'tacular

what a great word.

either way, we had our tacos and margaritas party last night right up in this joint. it was a great time :) we got the meat ahead of time from fairway and got EVERYTHING else after our tournament saturday afternoon.

few quick words about the tourney, went 3-1! lost to vassar, beat nyu, yale and cooper union. it was a lotta fun. i played more than i've played since spring break sophomore year. my back did start bothering me so i sat out after a few points against cooper union when i realized they didn't need me....and the frosh needed playing time. good times, good times. i'm so glad to get back out there, you have no idea how long i've been waiting to play with these boys again.

back to the party, though. so we got veggies, i put kelsey and mara on beer duty (which they pulled off nicely), margarita shit, other shit....came home chopped, cooked, blended, and blazed through 66 tacos. i started making taco salads with tostitos. but yeah, lotsa people showed up. i had about 21 who responded that they're coming, and more showed up. especially for drinks. in the end we drank FIVE bottles of tequila (four sauza's and one jose) and two bottles of triple sec. the most spectacular thing is the ONLY thing that's left is about a half once of rose's lime juice sitting at the bottom of one of those big bottles. we drank quite a lot. then we hit the beer, of course. we ended up bookin' it from here at midnight and relocated to eric's place in EC 'cause austin was getting worried about being an RA...so we packed up all the beer and went to EC :)

where we partied s'MORE, drank a lot MORE, and sang like no one was watching. so much fun. we just started putting in song after song of radio/mtv songs that everyone would know and filled the room with screaming singing. even harvard john was getting into it :) he looked like he had a lotta fun, i'm glad. he's a fun guy. security came :) checked all our id's but eventually just let us off with a warning. we cooled it down, drank a little more and headed to koronets for some gooey gooey goodness. what a night.

and now...i think i'm going to watch tv/movie until i can't stand my own laziness.

what a week. work hard, play hard.

it's the only way i tick.


*beep*

stats

time right now: 12:59am
last time i slept: 5-5:30am, broken sleep (mostly just closing my eyes)
last time before that: 8-10pm thursday night (after two margaritas and a huge dinner at mama mexico's)
last time before that: after amcaff-12pm thursday afternoon

so yeah, right now i've pretty much been up for 26 hours. i drank a LOT tonight. we went to this russian vodka bar in the village and got their ice rack which is six double+ shots of AMAZING wodka. such good shit. we drank before that, drank at dinner....yeah...i got near-drunk and sober three times. all i ate until those first few beers at 'puck's fair' was animal crackers and coffee for about...twelve hours maybe? i dunno.

needless to say, there's no reason i should be up right now....i should've at least taken a nap when i was doing....nothing....but once i was done with my pset and data structures assignment i was oddly rejuvinated....go figure...and then about two or three more times throughout the night. but yeah...i'm definitely going down for the count.

ULTIMATE!

see ya' boyz and beaches at the taco party tomorrow night. wear somethin' hot and bring some munchies.

ay ya ya yay
ay mi amor
ay mi morena
mi corazon



partylist thus far (excluding the fab four):

FOOD
amanda
tao
mara
sasha
krishna
grace?
ani
vix
graham
verb
alaska
blinn
patrick
kelsey

TEQUILA/BEER
amanda
tao
mara
sasha
grace?
ani
london
vix
graham
verb
alaska
patrick
kelsey

insomniac

so i finished everything...sort of. my code compiled but didn't run....which is really disheartening after the thousands of hours i put into it. it was quite a healthy sized program...and it pooped. fuck. oh well....i'll get more than half credit, i understood the written questions well enough...at least i think i did.

so yeah, turned it in at eleven, turned my microfab pset in while i was out, and immediately went on an acis ticket. quickie, but it took a while to nail down an appointment with this guy.

and a new one to add to the list of 'stupid shit i miss'...i was gonna reformat this girl's computer 'cause it's just a mess and she said she had windows xp anyway (she was running 2k, a piece of shit)....so i told her i'd do it 'cause she was kinda computer illiterate. so i took all the shit, setup discs, this and that, and told her i'd bring it back to her all setup. i finally sat down to do it today, look at the box she gave me, and it says OFFICE XP. i wanted to laugh, i wanted to cry, but i'm really to tired right now to feel such emotions.

and on that note...i'm wide awake again*shrugs*. fuck me. i'm wondering if i should just excercise some and get a good solid nap...or just lay in bed 'till i fall asleep...but i'm kind of in that twilight zone where i'm not tired nor hungry nor thirsty nor anything...maybe i need sugar. yeah....i'll start sugar loading. austin's mom is AMAZING....she gave austin a care package with the following:

halloween decorations
jolly ranchers
atomic fireballs
twizzlers
skittles
assorted sugar
smarties!!!!

and of course, a giant box of colorful condoms. specfuckingtacular.

so yeah, i'm gonna go do that...prolly have dinner with vanessa and lewis again, hopefully get a good night's sleep, and hit the sack early tonight. maybe i can last without a nap? we'll see.

"i wanna feel it can't conceal it makes me high
sugar high"

-song from a movie, name it

just like the old days

so it's six am....i finished my pset and now it's on to my data structures assignment due in about five hours (taking one of three late days). i'll tell you how that's going at some point...

i took a bit of a nap a little while ago...i say a bit 'cause i never really did get to sleep but it was nice to just lay down for about forty five minutes with my eyes closed. i've had fiona apple's "when the pawn..." playing for about seven hours now and it's still not irritating me. kinda weird. i'm barely listening to it when i'm studying, and i was studying in the lounge before as well...but it's...soothing.

so i just took a shower, an i'm gonna shave soon. always makes me feel better when i study like this. i tend to scratch at my stubble when i'm stressed and frustrated and i sometimes get a rash....sucks. i had coding with a passion, but for some reason i don't get tired when i'm doing it. ijust started to think about it before my nap and it made napping so much harder. i woke up almost talking to myself when my alarm went off about something called "a brian"...some kind of algorithm my brother was talking about. so weird.

so i come out of the shower to an IM from a friend (from home...only people still awake besides chang who's also coding) saying "i'm horny as fuck right now" which inevitably turns into an interesting conversation. i never understand women....but i guess that's part of the fun? (i wonder if she [you] still read this?)

alright, down to coding now....enough'a this fun talk.

animal cookies

new one

you know you're an ultimate player:

when you finally have a reason to cut your nails more than once every few months.....



(as i give myself a long overdue 'manicure')



any more?

*snip*

now

i want it to be the weekend already....today was insane. i did 2.4 psets today...well...'tuesday's' midnight to midnight. finished two of them rather well and making headway on that last one...who's due date is pretty arbitrary (i love this prof). broke off in the middle of it to go golfing though :) best decision i've made this week yet. tao, beck, verb, and duke came out. duke left after about the tenth hole or something. i ended up breaking my old record of 63 (in clown shoes) with a 61 tonight! so nice. it was very relaxing, i think i really needed it. whenever i drink coffee and then get stressed (up until dinner all i'd put in my mouth was coffee all day) i tend to clench my jaw unconsciously. at the end of the day my muscles will be all tired...very weird feeling. if i didn't feel like enough of a piece of shit already....even EATING is tiring. wonderful.

but yeah, all i usually need is some excercise or something else to just get my mind off shit. last week sometime i felt like i did today and ended up going blading (w/ krischelle, some of you know her) and that really helped loosen me up. it's probably hereditary 'cause my brother and sister both have similar ailments. my sister literally grinds her teeth, and both of them do it in their sleep. my brother kind of clicks them together periodically when he sleeps (we used to share a room when we were little and i noticed he still does it). you'd think my teeth would be more dull....but instead i have fangs worthy of the vampire sleep schedule i usually keep.

only i don't melt in the sun....or at least i've been told i shouldn't.

does that mean i'm blade? oooh, that would be BAD-ASS. that hyphen is for a pause. Bad-Ass.



hmm...before i started writing i'd been sitting here for a while trying to think of something to write. once i got started....somehow i turned into blade. funny. i amaze myself sometimes...no wonder i love blobbing.

oh and i bought a bottle of red wine today for those nights i don't want a beer. i've decided i have to keep more alcohol around. i've got a few beers left...but i don't always feel like a beer. if i'm only having one or two beers....i almost may as well have NONE. unless it's with food, then it's very satisfying. but if i'm just having one drink, like i'm going to do in a sec. a stiff cocktail or glass of wine is nice 'cause it's nice and warm and cuddly. be a nice way to go to sleep.

shiraz (from a south eastern australain winery called 'lindemans')

excercises in procrastination

i bought my first textbook for the semester!!!

so proud.

also, a little piece of me died today. a moment of silence.....

*ring ring*, excuse me.

food.

friday the 13th

i just saw friday the 13th on hbo...i'm PRETTY sure it was the original 'cause he didn't even have the hockey mask yet. really weird. i must say, though...that movie uses the horror music PERFECTLY. i can totally see how it would be scary on a dark stormy night. i'm kind of interested in watching the next now 'cause i wanna see how/when he gets the hockey mask and when/how he gets fuckin' HUGE (he wasn't all that big OR strong in this one....just kept sneaking up on people and putting machetes in their foreheads) i think the greatest was the poor couple that was fucking in the bed and jason comes behind 'em and shoves a spear straight through both of them, through the bed, and into the floor. so great! haha...i just might have to watch more of them....

and EVERY time it seemed like jason was 'watching' some naked girl or something....that creepy sound that goes like....."ch ch ch ch......k k k k"...i really can't think of another way to say it phonetically, but it echos with those two sounds. really creepy :)

why do these appeal to me so much???

especially at 4am when i'm supposed to be doing my analog electronics pset....god i suck.

i don't think i'm going to either of my morning classes....'cause i'm just really, really lazy....and then i get to do some acis work and ANOTHER pset tomorrow night....and i have to do my data structures at some point as well which will be interesting considering i've completely forgotten how to do java.

ha!

HAHA!

i laugh in the face of adversity.

old turkey

useless

jesus christ i'm useless. today was probably the LEAST productive day of my senior year so far. actually every day seems to get less productive...hah! either way, i will begin being productive once midnight rolls around...so i can say goodbye to monday. if all goes correctly i will do three psets in a twenty four hour period....not bad. especially since i had all weekend to do it, as well as the past....oh...FIVE HOURS. instead i just set myself up to stay up all night...took five hours (eat, sleep, coffee). i really am an idiot...but since i went to bed at six am last night....and didn't really get too much REAL sleep 'cause i kept waking up to do acis stuff and getting my tickets cancelled for today...yeah....i still felt like a zombie when i went to my one and only class to sleep through most of it. spectacular!

i'm pretty angry with myself...

but hey, i have 140,000 friends now.....

i should have a life by wednesday night....mehopes.

wish me luck (i'm sure you'll hear from me again...the last of the mohicans..i mean....the last of the blobbers...maybe i should call myself a 'blahber'....further butchering the name).

fin

i feel loved

so i went to friendster a few minutes ago and apparently i have 20,000 people in my network of friends...all that through like nine friends. really weird....or really cool. i haven't decided which. christian got me started on it way back when and i haven't touched it since but i was keeping up my end of a deal with another friend and i had 7 friend requests....i wonder if they even still use it *shrugs* i guess we'll find out?

reminds me of six degrees of separation....

maybe it'll be another procrastination outlet since...you know..i've posted like four times in the past 36 hours or something, instead of doing my pset tonight i watched 'the ghost and the darkness' on hbo and i'm turning my pset in on wednesday (because i can), and now i have two psets to do in a day and a half starting tomorrow...even though i have a bunch of tickets i have to run out to for acis starting at 10am.....

this is either amazing if i pull it off...or blatantly irresponsible. i can't decide about which of those, either.

there's a lot of things i can't decide these days : ) makes life interesting.

if you're on friendster, let's hook up. we can compare networks *wink wink*

...does that just mean i'm closing both eyes?

invincible

i'm so proud of a habit i recently picked up. first of all, i almost never wear underwear when i wear surf shorts. and for durability and comfort issues i wear surf shorts for ultimate. you can ponder on your own whether the chicken or the egg came first.

either way, the greatest thing about surf shorts is the speed in which they dry...so recently instead of stinking up my surf shorts and waiting to do laundry, i just jump in the shower with them and wash it with body soap. i mean...i'm washing the same shit off my body as i will from the ass crack of my surf shorts...so body soap should do the job. and then i throw the surf shorts out my window and they smell as good as a newly showered jess and dryer than my hair in half an hour.

this means that i am now invincible for maybe as long as two months at a time....if your definition of invincible is the ability to avoid doing laundry of course....



good words christian, i'll comment on it later but i'm too tired. side note though, i agree with all but the 'personal' part. the fact that it was originally a prison scheme has nothing to do with inmates being simply afraid to dig under the a wall or masturbate with an audience....it was because being in the eye of everyone around you at any given time MAKES you consider the thoughts of others...and ALL others. therefore the personal morals that are projected unto others are the morals that that particular person believes to be the morals of the society as a whole....in the prison case, other inmates and the world who condemned them. in foucalt's case, the society that whoever lives in. the stipulation must be made, however, that everyone must be in the panopticon, which is why, as you said, i can't have mine.

...that was too much thinking...and i don't think it made much sense either.

ultimate was great, albeit swilly...the frosh are learning a bit better how not to clog though. i think we have to 1) do the go-to drill regularly, and 2) curse the fuckin' SHIT out of them when they clog.

rest==>movie?==>pset==>pset? i should get some good sleep tonight....

evanescence

shutterbug

i knew when i started this blog under the premise that i'd be brutally and painfully honest that it would probably falter once 'things' got personal. i guess you could say i live a very impersonal life. i talk a lot on IM, i never use the phone, my hang outs are open to all (usually), and there's no one or two people that i ALWAYS go out with. i coudln't say i have a best friend. i guess i could say i live with my best friendS....but i've still gotten myself into an impersonal relationship with them...i guess. at least i feel that way...that i never really let anyone in. if it makes any sense at all my remedy to being afraid of letting ANYONE in is just to let EVERYONE in so that nobody feels special that i'm being honest with them. makes for an interesting life...

i don't know what i'm saying.

but i know why i'm saying it. i started this blog last january...january 28th to be exact (re-reading blobs for one of the few times i ever have). i really don't think anything extremely significant has happened in my life since then that involved more than like...three or four people at a time. like i said, i'm very impersonal. if something happens, it's with a mass. there were a few things that happened with candace that i was usually okay with blobbing 'cause she usually doesn't read this thing...she avoids it most of the time. i found out recently, however, that sometimes 'people' will tell her there's something about her in it and she'll come and check....how thoughtful of her. she didn't comment any more about it...

other than that there was nothing really personal that i had going for me. i played ultimate with 'you', partied with 'them', and went to see a movie with 'these guys'...whoopdie fuckin' doo, not very hard to keep an open life when nothing's happening.

this past week however....(i've been stalling trying to decide what to tell)...has threatened my willingness to share 'everything'. maybe it's about time i turn inwards instead of outwards? or should i take this opportunity to challenge myself to be bold. i always thought the panopticon was a wonderful thing....mostly because i wasn't afraid of the showing myself. now, showing myself is a little harder...with the culmination of about three different things in one week....it rains it pours...just in time for the hurricane.

there are three people i think i really have to talk to until i can...let go again. or at least three people i have to talk to (possibly a fourth) before i can make a decision about the direction of this blob.

damn, that was kinda depressing....

it shouldnt've been 'cause i had a pretty nice day. i was woken up at about 9am when my bro called to say he's comin' into the city. we were supposed to go eat with my sister but she had to work (she sucks at planning) so me and lewis went to eat, i got egg's bennedict...'cause i fuckin' love eggs bennedict. they cooked the eggs too much but it was still good. after that we went to see 'underworld'. GO SEE IT. that's all i have to say :) kate beckinsale, so hot. vampire chicks. so hot. but yeah, we had a nice time. and then we went to dbq (picked up vanessa and brad, her bf on the way) for some ribs and i got a giant margarita (lewis was sick and didn't wanna drink). so i was extremly happy after that. two of my favorite meals, two of my favorite people, and vampires. and then tonight i watched 'nightmare on elm street 4: the dream warrior', a dvd i got a few days ago but hadn't watched yet. made me happy :) i think it's my favorite one so far. so yeah, it's been a good day...but this past week has been pressing on my shoulders.

i'll work on it.

redrush

surf

i got two surf movies from quicksilver at time's square. it's actually part I and II of a movie called "momentum". it's got rob machado who i really like, and should be pretty badass. i haven't watched it yet, nor have i even heard of it, but for some reason i wanted some fuckin' surf, so this is how i did it.

if anyone wants to come and watch it with me, drop me a line. maybe sometime tomorrow...or REALLY late tonight.

sourskittles

out of the norm

so this week has been quite an intersting week....unfortunately, the details of which i'm going to have to withold for a little while so i can straighten some things out...i think. i will try to uphold the basis of the panopticon...

not much i can say that hasn't been said on the newsgroup, though. had QUITE the time fucking sai up on her 21st birthday on wednesday after practice. such a bad idea to go drinking after dehydrating myself playing swilly ultimate, but such a good time, as well. i think the final count was 31 pitchers and 322 dollars.....there was more than beer in there (shots!) but most of what sai drink i'm pretty sure was off the bill. i got her a 'go ask alice'...seemed fitting. peachy drink.....*shrugs* i guess it's good to fuck girls up?

classes....oh my. i spent up until wednesday sleeping three hours at a time (starting sunday) whenver i got tired....that's how i do finals. took it's toll, however, at ultimate practice. i think i'm really gonna try and get more sleep these days....i'm getting old *mopey mopey mopey*. i mean...sometimes i just feel completely DRAINED when i should otherwise feel fine...like....after not sleeping more than three hours for three days! shit back in the day i was unstoppable. now...i'm stoppable....

no energy. but at the moment dave stole the lounge playing f-zero and liu's playing final fantasy on his tv....and there's no way in fuckin' hell i'm gonna study right now....and i dont' have my computer so i can't watch dvd's in my room.....so here i am. i'm thinking of taking the unicycle out and learnin' some rockin' of the one-wheeled-sort. i still dont' see how that's romantic....but to each his own, i suppose ;)

soooooo lazy.

fajitas

a nightmare on elm street

got my two dvd's from lerner today:

a nightmare on elm street 3: The Dream Warriors
a nightmare on elm street 4: The Dream Master

i don't know why i felt the need to write those out. i'm just so happy with them :) me and austin started the dream warriors this evening and liu walked in and we made smoothies. ...liu asked if he could finish his smoothie before we start the movie again 'cause he was scared. PUSSY! haha, i thought that was funny. austin was also hesitant to watch it because the last time i made him watch one of these (2?) he said he had a nightmare about it where freddy was terrorizing his high school friends and his family....oops. nonetheless, he watched it with me. we'll see how he sleeps.

i've explained this before but there reason i'm so enthralled by freddy is that there are only two movies that has every given me a nightmare: a nightmare on elm street (original) and this movie called jacob's ladder. of course i had to own them both (masochistic...i suppose) as well as the rest of the series of a nightmare on elm street (a total of five plus 'new nightmare' and 'freddy's dead'...oh, and the eighth, and best, 'freddy vs. jason'....SO HOT!!!). i just saw it when i was WAY to young. i actually don't even remember the nightmare i had....but i remember that i did. now scary movies are just comical to me. dave was unimpressed 'cause he failed to see how it was scary...but that's not why i like them. i guess it's kind of the fact that there ARE people that are afraid of it that intrigues me. i guess there's a bit of ego-boosting in that too but hey, all the better. it's enjoyable....and the cheesy 80's dialogue and giant hairdos make it all the better to me :) i have a very unorthadox appreciation for movies...in case you haven't noticed.

for example, a list. here's the list of movies on my 'wishlist' w/ columbiahouse DVD

-From Dusk 'Till Dawn (i like quentin and rodriguez)
-XXX (asia argento! and a rammstein video at the beginning)
-The Faculty (i was intrigued with aliens all through high school...famke's HOT...and i believe there's gratuitous nudity as well)
-Point Break (surf, robbery, dead presidents...unfortunate that it's keanu reaves, though....good movie)
-Kuffs (christian slater's hilarious, and milla jovovich ranks among my top five hottest women on earth)
-True Romance (a movie i don't completely remember but remember seeing. great cast, including christian slater again)
-Moonlight Mile (Ellen Pompeo is my new favorite actress these days, so cute. and jacob gyllenhaal, from donnie darko is awesome too. susan sarandon and dustin hoffman as well. there are so many tiny subtleties to this movie that had me grinnin' like a kid in a candy store)
-Freddy's Dead
-New Nightmare
-Nightmare on Elm Street 5 - The Dream Child

it was a LOOOOONG day today. as i posted before, i got up at 6:15am and i was doing my pset by seven am. i went to class at eleven, and worked on it more with skarfin after that right up until half an hour before class. i went to the steps to chill just 'cause i couldn't think (especially since i'd only gotten three hours of sleep. ugh) and bumped into candace actually. she just kinda stood there for a while with a disgruntled look on her face as i walked up to her...don't really know what she was trying to say with that. we talked for all of two minutes as she walked off somewhere and i parked it. i realized after she left that my chest was tight....grr....still never happy to see her. makes it easier that i never see her though...sad as it sounds. i tried, i failed too many times, i gave up (almost completely) trying to be a real friend to her.

better off being a ghost.

on to lighter things. after class (which was actually pretty interesting...analog electronics, go figure) i chilled a bit and then went blading with brian white. we went all the way down to chelsea piers, with one rest. funny thing...there's this one intercection where the path from the riverwalk come sup to riverside park under the highway....now last friday when i was blading with krischelle i went by it and heard my name being called from behind. turns out it was jeremy boyd, a grad student who started ultimate with us. he was with his fiance, gorgeous girl, walkin' in the park. so cute :) either way, we talked a bit and we got on our way (i had to entertain!). and then, TODAY, with white passing the same intercection i hear another voice calling my name. what're the odds? so weird.....either way this time it was kk taking a walk hand in hand with a boy who must've been about four or five. very cute. he was a little scared of me....kids do that sometimes. but then this woman walked by with two parrots on her shoulders and he started talking like a parrot...sounded like he was quoting some movie. it was really cute :) kk was really surprised, especially after he shrunk behind her when i said hi to him....

so yeah, that's my new favorite intercection...'specially 'cause it goes flat and buckles into a downward hill so you can go flying off it for a pretty cool jump.

i passed out after dinner (bacon burgers!!!) and told liu and duke i might go to poker later 'cause i needed a nap. austin got me up at nine thirty (hour and a half) asking if i wanted to get up 'cause he was leaving, but eric's still all pissy at me for a reason he still hasn't told me (i could fathom a guess) and i was more comfortable on my couch than dealing with him anyway, so i opted not to go to poker tonight and stayed in. austin came back and we started dream warriors and we've gone the full blob circle...how nice. i feel like i'm writing an essay and i just made a great link back to the beginning, tying the whole big useless blob together! i hate writing. give me math or give me death.

oh, i almost forgot, dream warriors opened with a quote by Poe:

Sleep.
Those little slices of death.
How i loathe them.

i'm....speechless.....

a peak into my future

ooooh boy, here we go.

monday morning: went to bed at 6:45am (sunday night)
tuesday morning: woke up at 6:15am (went to bed at 3am)

analog electronics pset....here i come.

coffee

drop it

i think today may just be the most unproductive day i've ever had. aaaall ending in me deciding (almost whole h goeartedly) to drop the class i have a pset due in tomorrow morning. i did jack shit all day, lotsa hangin' out, part of a movie, some racing (video game)....very nice time. i finally got down to doing my pset, though..and decided to do laundry in the meantime (the only productive thing i did today). there was a movie on called thunderbolt i think with jackie chan being a race car driver/mechanic. it was really fuckin' cool...and by cool i mean hilarious. the racing was actually pretty neat but they sped the video up....it was kind of creepy...but this last race at the end...they must've destroyed like twenty cars. it was amazing. i think i need to buy it (made in 1995). i'm really hoping that someday i'll get to race some. i've been reading around from time to time and in an effort to curb street racing there's been a large number of tracks being put up to give racers a place to race without endangering everyone else. i love speed : ) it's getting scary how in tune i'm getting to this godamn video game. i love it. i have like ten cars in it now....although i only drive about three of them regularly...i can't wait to get some time/space in my life to dive into a car. i'd love to tear it apart and learn how to fix/modify/tweak it. i think i definitely want a camaro ss someday. such a hot car (the old school ones). i think i could rock that *dons mirrored red sunglasses*. i also think i want a mitsubishi either lancer evolution or gt3000 (or maybe it's 4000)....they're just great machines....and more nimble than most cars (four wheel drive....). those two cars would be ideal. oh...and a minivan for the kids and my surfboards/snowboards/STUFF.....

but, back to what i was talkinga bout (that was quite a sidetrack)...i was crunching numbers on my DAR (degree audit report....glorified transcript i guess you could call it). if i stay with my current schedule....meaning finishing my pset that's due at 11am tomorrow...i'll have, i think, only two courses that i ABSOLUTELY have to take to graduate (6/7 credits). that's just....wrong : ) i think if i had that little i really just wouldn't do shit. i have seventeen credits now...which is quite a load since the classes are all gonna take a lotta time. so yeah, i'm dropping it. (notice the beginning of this post said 'maybe' or something like that). and hey, this way i can sleep in 'till 4pm....

sounds good considering i'm up at 6:20am, no?

shit...sun's comin' up.

i'm not tired, either.....actually...maybe i am.

let's see, *lights off*

where have all the bloggers gone

haven't really written a real blob in quite a while now....and most other bloggers i know have been kinda dead as well. i was really curious at the beginning of this past summer what would become of my blob...but as it got into the summer....i found that i still enjoyed writing even though not as many, and sometimes no people were reading it. i still had a bunch of regulars though....andi still tried subtle and ultimately vain attempts at getting comments. i guess i should just be happy with the comments i do get *sniffle*

either way, lot's been happening lately. my classes are mostly interesting, all except data structures which is going to just be the fly in my life this year. i don't wanna learn how to code again....ugh. but yeah, the rest are cool. be a shitload'a work, but interesting nonetheless. we're finally getting into more 'application' type stuff that i can actually see using in a real job. i'm pretty psyched for that instead of all the theoretical bullshit i only understand on paper.

lately though, school hasn't been on my mind all THAT much. i've been really enjoying hanging out with all my friends lately, and our first REAL day of ultimate was absolutely amazing. despite the rain and the humidity and the jelly in my legs i call muscle....it was a great day. it was nice to get back out there. i don't have to worry about my back NEARLY as much as i used to, which is such freedom. coach bill really wanted me to learn how to handle....so i was doing that a lot. absolutely horrible at first....but even by the second game i was improving a lot. i'd still rather be a mid...but these are good things to practice even for that position.

our party last night was really all i hoped it would be. i had a great time, and from what i hear others did as well. i'm very happy with that. i was worried about space concerns but people branched into my room relieving some of the clogging (clear out! clear out!) and opening up someplace to just chill without the non-stop bouncing of quarters echoing in my head all night. i also realized that this will give me the opportunity to play more music that i like at a party :) not a bad deal. i really gotta get my computer fixed or get a new one or something so i can watch dvd's while the rest of the world watches football, simpsons, futurama, seinfeld.....the list goes on. i don't know what it is but i've been turned off to so many tv shows that other people love lately....i don't think i could be THAT subconsciously rebellious but i have yet to figure out why these things bother me. i'll get back to you on that....(riiiight).

in my normal 'mass email' blogs i'd insert the ten or twenty paragraphs about women...but i'm going to practice a little discretion (i think restraint is a better word) for a little while longer ;) dont' worry. the bitch blobs will return...eventually. they always do.......

i'm very happy :)

natty ice.

beautiful blog

stole this from my friend victor lin

click for larger view

finish this sentence

you know you're an ultimate player when....

latenight television

after getting home from chang's (doing pset...i have no book) around 4am, i, of course, layed down to watch some tv. the first thing i found that caught my attention was 'perfect strangers'!!! i was so happy, i hadn't seen that show in like ten years or something. the funniest thing was that i stopped on that channel because the intro theme was familiar....funny how memory works sometimes....either way it was such a cute show. balki got his heart broken by some dumb bimbo using him. it was kinda sad, but always something happier in the end. ahh...the eighties.

after that i was flipping channels again and stopped on IFC, a channel i stop on often. of course this time i stopped 'cause some girl was asking another girl 'do you want to sleep with me?' always fun. either way, i end up watching this movie and one of the lesbian girls looks like kim cattrall, mia kirshner is a psychic dominatrix, and greg from 'dharma and greg' is a gay actor/waiter. the movie's called Love & Human Remains. i really enjoyed it :) got the girl in love with the gay guy, the lesbian in love with her, the serial killer in love with the gay guy, the dominatrix just...being hot...and a teenage busboy who adores greg as well....it's a really twisted story...rather disturbing, but i always like those. i almost changed the channel like four times....just kind of being a little uncomfortable (homosexualism, sexuality, morals, killing....all rolled up into one visual fatty), but sometimes those are the things i enjoy the most.

i once quietly decided to myself that i'm never comfortable unless i'm a little uncomfortable. i like keeping my mindmoving. i like being thrown off balance a little....when i get too comfortable i either get lazy...or i get scared that i should be doing more. doesn't happen very often...but hawaii's good for that. i'm definitely NOT balanced right now...school, ghosts, women, post-school, family, friends, health, money.....nothing seems to be 'settling'.....it's all kind of out there for me to tie down.

but yeah....very cool movie :) not that any of you will ever see it, nor have ever heard of it. but hey, it's 5:30am and i'm fuckin' happy about it, so HAH.

why the fuck am i still up you might ask?

yeah, ask.

*shakes head* goodnight

useless!

so i was having a conversation with trish yesterday and she said that i am "one of the most useful people" she knows. i thought that was really weird (i was calling myself useless as usual)...especially since today, i slept in my chair most of one class...came home and slept through another class....and didn't even attempt my pset due in my third class today.

yeah...i'm real useful.

i have, however, been doing a lotta work with acis. it's pretty stressful having like ten tickets open at a time and keeping them all organized...people call and i'm like....uh...who are you? i don't always have my computer screen up to run their UNI's and find their ticket. but hell...at least it pays for my beer habits.

as ben was saying, we go out to a bar like, five times a week nowadays. it's really fun, but quite expensive sometimes. ALTHOUGH, for the price of a shitty john jay dinner, last night i got twenty wings, a pint of guinness and two pints of sierra. not bad. we're definitely going to start hitting the heights happy hour more often though. two dollar sierra's are hard to beat.

poker time.

cry

fuckin' freshmen

so last night was the first ultimate meeting, a lot to just welcome everyone back and welcome the new frosh. we started the meeting a half hour early with the vets so we could be all old and wise and then invited the frosh in. i'm really psyched about this year. we have an EXTREMELY powerful team. the rookie class is the best we've ever had (after us, of course), and we got some grad students comin' in with some skillz to bring to the table as well. i'm starting to fear for my playing time....hahaha

afterwards it was often to christen amcaff with the newbies. we got there before 9pm....ordered 24 pitchers, got a FREE ROUND OF SHOTS for 23 people last i counted, and the waitress took one with us, saw that cute waitress harmony...a lot :) she said hi to me! yeah i won't get my hopes up. it was a lotta fun. me and austin kept moving around the table to talk to everyone (it was a LOOONG table)...and now that i think of it i don't think i even sat next to him at all. not that that didn't stop us from screaming at eachother from across the table contemplating the attempt on another 20 pitchers....i don't really know WHY we left, but we did....heading over to west side for some meat pies. that was postponed, however, with the brilliant idea to drink MORE. so austin, mandel, sai, mara, stoops, muppet, sam (alaskan sam), and garett (mammoth) hit up lion's head where sam and sai promised the bouncer they wouldn't drink 'cause they don't have ID. had a few more pitchers there and some nachos, then finally hit up west side and came back here. oh, brian white met us at the tavern as well.....he got that sliver of glass out of his eye by himself and brought it in a little vial....that was NOT a small piece of glasss....ugh. good form, though. he said he should be fine. he didn't come to west side, though....wrong direction from home.

so we came back to hogan and hung out, gave the frosht he shitty beer we ddn't reallly want, and shot the shit. somehow it turned into 4am and i had to kick the diehard muppet out so i could go to sleep. good times. i'm glad the frosh actually came out. unlike previous years where we'll be like, LET'S GO TO AMCAFF!!! and three vets show up 'cause the rest are fuckin' lame and four frosh show up, realize we suck, and go find something better to do. good form, good form.

meat pie

a message from kix

via email:

"i wish i were going back to school...god. college is so much fun. and everything that seemed so stressful in school is ridiculously insignificant now. so jess, i guess you always had the right attitude. i should have gone out more, and spent less time worrying and studying. haha...."

i still think it's fuckin' hilarious how i've impressed such a laid back/party animal persona of myself onto others. i still consider myself a generally awkward dude in most social situations...i guess i hide it pretty well a lotta the time. i mean honestly....do you remember what i was like before you said hi to me (i probably didn't say hi to you first)? or maybe i'm just being...dumb. for lack of a better word. i dunno. i still feel like partying all the time is just part of my rebellion against my childhood ideals of life. you know....boring.

oh well, glad i at least gave kix somethin' to think about ;) i'm always proud to get some gears turning.

momentum

bitch blob

so this is the point in the cycle where i bitch about how NOBODY FUCKING BLOGS ANYMORE. wtf. i get kind of tired finding nothing to read and resorting to reading my own posts....
actually i rarely read my own posts. except the drunk ones...sometimes i forget what i write (oftentimes the best ones!). i have a pretty good memory of things that i actually 'write' and it's written pretty fluently...like, straight from the mind which makes it easier to make sense of to me. i'm always impressed how often my logic is always consistent. it may not seem like that...but it does. what imean is like...when if i ever go back and find something i wrote, be it a post, blob, journal, whatever, i can usually remember/sense exactly what i was feeling when i wrote it. it's kinda weird...then again it could just be something everyone does and i'm just glorifying myself for being a part of the human race *shrugs* that's always reassuring.

on a lighter note, this weekend looks like it will be absolutely beautiful....nice. shit weather for school, great weather for debauchery. speaking of debauchery, last night was a lotta fun at karaoke night. they got a really late start, though, and i bailed early to golf in the fog. that was REALLY cool. i like fog a lot. it was actually really warm out, too. i was wearing a sweater but took it off after like four holes. only me, burger and max finished, though. pussies. corey lost a disc in the pigeon pit, burger lost one of two on the spike...i think that was it. i was doing pretty good but completely lost count no records or anything, though. golf is so great. karaoke is also great. i think we're definitely gonna hit that again, hopefully this time they'll get it goin' on time.

i have one more class in less than an hour and then i'm home free....*sigh* i'm gonna be workin' for acis a lot of tomorrow, with a break for some ultimate, of course.

come out, get wet. hopefully the fields will dry up a bit. i'm guessing no, but who am i to say.

traffic back up to ~20 people a day, that's always nice to see..... thanks for visiting :)

sushi

settling

i think i've got a pretty solid course list down...there may be a slight change...if i can get some research up in this joint. here it is:

T/Thurs.
9:35-10:50 -- signals and systems II
11:00-12:15 -- data structures in java (3134)
2:40-3:55 -- analog electronics

M/W
11-12:15 -- electromagnetics/electromechanics or something
(monday only) 4:10-6:50 -- device microfabrication
(wednesday only) 4:10-6:50 -- solid state/microwave lab

17 credits...not bad. if i can get some sort of research i'll drop that microfab class

i stayed up through my entire class this morning, though. it was pretty interesting (EM). i'm finally realizing how much i'm going to have to think again....i need some skittles.

been havin' a lotta fun socially, however. i'm glad between the suites people still wanna go out. well...besides my suite, lazy bastards :) they did come out last night though...much to my surprise. had a good time at the heights happy hour(11-1). my suite, eric, don, penny, kelsey, and kelsey's friends mary and anjuley...or something like that. the whole time eric and kelsey were trying to push me and anj together...it was pretty funny. i still have to figure out a bunch of shit for myself i think...mostly what the fuck i'm doing with the next few years of my life. maybe i'm already too late....grr....i hate being productive. i was so glad when i got into college 'cause that meant i basically didn't have to make any big decisions for FOUR YEARS. well...time's up.

TONIGHT, however, it's our debut at wednesday night amcaff karaoke! haha....this could be horribly bad, or horribly fun. or just fuckin' stupid. i hope enough people show up for it to be fun, though. i really do like singing, especially if there're people to sing with. but yeah, i think we'll be going around nine thirty tonight if you read this and not the newsgroup.

bass on pitcher special, too

fumes